Things Change

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | Grade It Now!
Things Change

Abby orders Frank to call Dr. Meyers (the fetus who tried to shrink Luka's head) and threaten to send Wacky Jack up there unless he comes down immediately to evaluate the poor lad. She then joins Ron Insanity, who is thrashing and panting and wheedling that he has to leave because he can tell "they" are penetrating his synaptic code. Why hasn't anyone put him in proper restraints yet? Oh, wait, sorry -- the promo department wrote this scene. Abby calmly talks him down, restraining him herself. "Look at me, James. You know I'm not trying to hurt you!" she pleads firmly. "I'm keeping you safe. That's what I do." A fat anvil shoves open the door with the message, "Eric is on line one," and Abby thanks the anvil without breaking eye contact with Martin Nutjob, because she's trying out on him all the lines she expects she'll need to use on Eric. Bo Freaktastic finally settles down, and she hurries to the phone. "Eric?" she says. "Where are you? Are you okay?" Suddenly, Engleburt Fruitcake's eyes fly open. He's hearing her say things she isn't saying, like, "We've caught him," and, "He's not cooperating." He can't really see clearly because Abby had injected him with some Haldol, I think. Abby is actually establishing that Eric is off his meds. She jots down the number of the phone booth he's using to call her, and just as she's done, Zany Bill throws Abby into the wall and tries to restrain her. She drops the phone and covers her face, but manages to pull the fire alarm. Al Mental drops Abby and she curls up on the floor, protecting her head, while he runs screaming out of the ER. Abby staggers to her feet and tells Frank to call Security, and then gives chase, but by the time she's outside, there's no sign of this pointless character who existed only so that the show could do some tripped-out lighting effects at the top of the hour. Rah. Wait, sorry -- I meant, "Feh." Incidentally, Doc Magoo's is not only closed, but appears to be boarded up.

Inside, Chen rolls her eyes at the still-screaming fire alarm. Pratt attaches himself to her and says, "Now you see why I want to get the hell out of this place." Chen playfully insists that it's not that bad there. "I left County once, but I came back," she says, all serene and pompous. Blech. "Something about this place gets in your blood," she adds. Pratt attributes this to asbestos, then leers at Chen that he wants her to help him celebrate the Northwestern assignment. She fingers his tie. "What did you have in mind?" she salivates. Ew. Get a room. In Cleveland. Poor innocent Gallant trots up at just that moment and interrupts the mental slurpings of these our intrepid shagbirds. Mrs. Reynolds's fever spiked and he's worried. "Find me later," Chen gurgles at Pratt.

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