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Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 373 USERS: C+
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Walk Like A Man

It burns when Marlene pees. She's bummed about it, understandably, because no one wants to shoot flames out her urinary tract. Except possibly circus freaks, and maybe someone like Pamela Anderson. Abby points out that Marlene's got a low-grade fever as well, so the poor kid is just burning all over. And, aw, she's here with her mother on a bonding trip to see the Shedd Aquarium and other such colorful sights of Chicago. Luka asks Marlene if she's had many UTIs before. "Yeah, a bunch," she shrugs. "Usually clears up with a bunch of antibiotics." Marlene's mother -- a hot blonde in classy black duds -- twirls her daughter's hair and sighs that she got Bactrim from Marlene's regular doctor, but that she left it at home in Milwaukee. Luka smiles at the mother and inches forward, asking Abby to dip a urine. The promise of imminent dipping is evidently enough to turn Ho Mommy's crank. She twinkles at Luka. "What kind of accent is that?" she wonders. "What accent?" Luka plays dumb. "Come on, where are you from?" giggles Ho Mommy. "Don't think you've heard of it," Luka muses. "A place called Idaho." Ho Mommy laughs too hard. Marlene looks like she wants to shoot the fire in her urinary tract straight at her slut mother. "You like potatoes?" Luka flirts. "Who doesn't?" Ho Mommy leers. Marlene rolls her eyes and looks uncomfortable with all these ridiculous come-ons, begging her mother to please get her some food, since she's in the hospital and everything. Ho Mommy promises to go to the cafeteria, ogling Luka seductively the whole time. Luka silently thanks the Bishop for sending him cheap sex.

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