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Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 373 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Walk Like A Man

Chuny approaches Abby in the hallway and hands her some official-looking paperwork. "Why are you giving me this?" Abby says, blinking at it blankly. Chuny announces that she wants next Friday off. "And I'd like a month in the Bahamas," Abby says, still clueless. "I'll settle for a long weekend at my cousin's," Chuny replies. Abby manages to brush all this off, despite its obvious oddness, and asks Jerry for Marlene's labs. Jerry doesn't have them. Does Jerry ever have them? What Jerry does have, however, is some origami. "It's a swan," he says proudly. "No, it's not," Abby insists rudely. "I think it is," Jerry counters, wounded. "You should hang it on the refrigerator next to your report card," sasses Abby, leaving. She bumps right into Marlene, who's acquired a wheelchair and is tooling around the hospital. I did that once at a nursing home at which I worked in grade eleven. I ended up running into a wall and bruising my foot. A drooling old guy totally pushed me. Don't ask. "We are waiting for your labs," Abby informs her. Marlene smiles beatifically and says she was just getting bored in her room. "Too many sick people," she says. "Where's your mom?" Abby asks curiously. Marlene says she's still in the cafeteria getting food. Uh huh. Sadly, Marlene sighs that they were supposed to do so much cool stuff in Chicago, and yet there they are at the hospital, and as kick-ass as a urine dip is, it's just not the same as the Shedd Aquarium. A lightbulb turns on over Abby's head. She should turn it off; it makes her highlights look green. At any rate, she's inspired, and she wheels Marlene off to the hospital fish tank.

Chem is still in bed. Gallant is still trying to get her a bed. Nothing to see here.

Mutt and Jeff grab Gallant, eager to hear Felix's prognosis. Apparently, tests ruled out a tumor, so they're doing a charcoal slurry to check for the presence of drugs in his GI tract. "Charcoal Slurry" sounds like the name of a thoroughbred. Of course, Mutt and Jeff freak out, because they're annoying, so Gallant has to remind them that their friend might be really sick, and they have to diagnose the problem. Satisfied with the idea of medical knowledge being put into practice, Mutt and Jeff follow Gallant inside to Felix's bed.

Felix chooses this exact moment to wake up. A master of timing is he. But he's very groggy. "Is Elena here?" he mumbles. Mutt and Jeff couldn't reach her, so no, she's not there. Felix looks disappointed. "Are my eyes open?" he asks suddenly, inching toward full-on panic. Mutt and Jeff, sensitive lads, order Felix to shut up, because he's such a wacky prankster in his dire state of medical crisis. But Felix isn't kidding. He's blind. "I can't see you," he panics. "I can't see anything." Gallant grimly calls for a scope, an eye doctor, and Carter.

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