Susan approaches in search of Unwashed Peasant #35. Susan's surprised to see that Marlene is still there, awaiting lab results. "Whatever she says about pet care, disregard," Susan whispers to Marlene. She then heads off in search of Unwashed Peasant, and bumps into Ho Mommy exiting a random closet, adjusting her dress to make sure her breasts don't pop out, as they're so wont to do. "Oh, uh, excuse me," Ho Mommy says, leaving her dignity on the floor as she scurries away. Shortly thereafter, Luka exits the closet and Susan stares right at him, watching the uncomfortable hottie adjust his shirt. "I, uh, misplaced an x-ray," he says. Apparently, he had to scour all available hiding places, thereby leading to a thorough excavation of Ho Mommy's birth canal. "Did you find it?" Susan smirks. Luka exhales hard and shakes his head, blushing slightly. "Checked everywhere," he says. As he walks away, rumpled and guilty, Susan follows him with an amused and slightly grossed-out stare. We cut to commercial wondering if Abby should peek up Ho Mommy's crotch in search of Marlene's missing lab results.
In the lounge, Susan sighs that she can't seem to avoid stumbling onto people's secrets today. "Luka and the UTI mom?" Abby says, aghast but also a tad tickled. "Yeah!" Susan giggles. "Is this kind of thing normal in Croatia?" Abby snickers that they call it "alternative medicine" over there, because foreign countries are funny and crazy and uncivil because they're all different from us. Susan tries to keep her mirth in check, since technically, Luka just nailed a patient's mother, and that's going a little above and beyond the traditional bedside manner requirement. Hee, I just about made myself puke imagining what it would've been like if Mark Greene had been handed this storyline. There are two words for that: "Ew" and "EW." And also, "As if." Abby wants to know where Susan found them; apparently, it was a storage closet in Radiology. "So strange," chortles Abby. "Neurology's so much more cozy." Susan cracks up at the idea of Abby and Luka humping and pumping their way through the hospital. "We stuck to beds, mostly," Abby smirks. Susan decides that Abby should talk to him about it, since they're better acquainted, but Abby begs off, giggling that Susan's the one who found him and so Susan should be the one to spank the sin out of him. Um...I mean, "confront him."
Carter asks if they've gotten the labs back on Felix yet. He's at the front desk with Gallant, who answers that the eye doctor can't give a good assessment of ocular damage until they've pinpointed the cause of Felix's blindness. Abby offers that Felix had no discernible blood-alcohol level, then offers to pick up coffee for everyone. Carter curtly refuses this offer, still in a bitter funk over Abby's recent descent from the wagon. This doesn't go unnoticed by Abby, who nevertheless exits quietly.