Day shift, 8:14 AM, according to the Graphic of God, We Hope Graphics Win Emmys. There's a giant plot device...er, "truck" blocking the ambulance bay because Weaver is moving the triage area to make room for more beds, in the hope that a construction worker will therefore conveniently pierce himself with something right before the eclipse so that the show can fake one and try to sneak a technical Emmy bid in here. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm sorry if I've spoiled a totally unimportant plot point. Except, not really. Carter meets Chen outside, waiting for a rig to arrive, and watches this bemusedly. "I thought you were on vacation," Chen frowns. "Tomorrow," he says. Apparently, Carter's headed off to Rio de Janeiro with Stephen Keaton to lose their grief under assorted paper drink umbrellas. "Ooh la la, string bikinis," Chen teases. Okay, no. There's little as unappealing as the vision of Carter and Stephen Keaton sitting on the beach in twin nut slings, drooling over half-naked women in bathing suits they can rip off with their teeth. That's all wrong.

An ambulance arrives, and out of it pops a freaking and paranoid woman who ran out into traffic. "There were others, not just me! They were forcing us! They wanted everyone to go together," she moans. She babbles about how the world is ending today at 2:16 PM, and apparently she and her cohorts were playing a rollicking game of Beat The Apocalypse by attempting a good, old-fashioned mass suicide. "Oh, great, and I have to work," Carter mock-complains. "I'm always working when the world ends." We smash into the credits hoping this day/night intercutting begets some dramatic tension, and fast.

Day shift, 8:35 AM, Graphic of We Really, Really Get Off On Graphics. A kid with a blue bandanna wrapped around his skull moans that he can't swallow. It's a sad story: Boy in gang, boy bangs with gang, boy takes a bullet, boy loses control of his throat muscles. As old as the hills, that. "Am I dying?" he asks. "Not if we can help it, but if you keep shooting at each other, we'll run out of blood," Carter preaches. Gallant bursts in to beg for Carter's attention. He's treating the Buddhist nun, who at this point is still alive, but succumbing to breast cancer. Carter informs The Blue Banger that he's got a collapsed lung, and that Elizabeth's going to hang out and reinflate it for him, and then possibly twist it into the shape of a poodle. "Try not to bleed too much," Carter suggests.