ER
When Night Meets Day

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Heathen: B | Grade It Now!
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When Night Meets Day

An ambulance arrives, and out of it pops a freaking and paranoid woman who ran out into traffic. "There were others, not just me! They were forcing us! They wanted everyone to go together," she moans. She babbles about how the world is ending today at 2:16 PM, and apparently she and her cohorts were playing a rollicking game of Beat The Apocalypse by attempting a good, old-fashioned mass suicide. "Oh, great, and I have to work," Carter mock-complains. "I'm always working when the world ends." We smash into the credits hoping this day/night intercutting begets some dramatic tension, and fast.

Day shift, 8:35 AM, Graphic of We Really, Really Get Off On Graphics. A kid with a blue bandanna wrapped around his skull moans that he can't swallow. It's a sad story: Boy in gang, boy bangs with gang, boy takes a bullet, boy loses control of his throat muscles. As old as the hills, that. "Am I dying?" he asks. "Not if we can help it, but if you keep shooting at each other, we'll run out of blood," Carter preaches. Gallant bursts in to beg for Carter's attention. He's treating the Buddhist nun, who at this point is still alive, but succumbing to breast cancer. Carter informs The Blue Banger that he's got a collapsed lung, and that Elizabeth's going to hang out and reinflate it for him, and then possibly twist it into the shape of a poodle. "Try not to bleed too much," Carter suggests.

Carter exits into a loud room with a loud voice complaining about waiting, and another person wondering who his doctor is. Oh, lord. Mayhem again. Always mayhem. Does Mayhem not have anywhere else to be right now? Does no one else ever employ it, or invite it out for coffee? Carter bumps into Weaver and begs for her aid. "I'm swamped with all these physical improvements," she says. Yeah, optional improvements. Weaver orders Carter to run the show. Again, why? Is he not outranked by other Attendings? And if he's the only organizational whiz, then why is he not an Attending? Carter digests Kerry's remarks and asks if she fired Romano. "No, he's on medical leave," she says. "What? His arm?" Carter asks. Weaver blows him off.

Chen whizzes past and asks if CT is back up. She's with Crazy Apocalypse Woman, who's turned unresponsive. Carter orders a tox screen, while the cop who brought her in hopefully asks whether her unconsciousness means he doesn't have to bother checking out her story that a bunch of people tried to kill her. Carter's like, Remember how you're a cop, bowelmonkey?

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