Witch Hunt

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: C | 1 USERS: A+
Witch Hunt

Mark wanders into the next room, where "Dr." Dave Malucci is all Bill Nye-ing to a bored kid in a fur vest, "You get a skin infection on your forehead, and it can move into an infection around your brain." Mark asks Dr. Dave how it's going, and Dr. Dave says that it turns out that "The Weasel" is suffering a self-inflicted wound. "Weasel?" Mark repeats. The Weasel explains, "That's my ring name." Dr. Dave adds that The Weasel is a "basement wrestler." Mark jokes that he had an uncle who was a "closet ballerina." Okay, Hawkeye? Enough with the one-liners, for real. Mark asks whether Green Shawl is a wrestler, too; The Weasel calls Green Shawl "Mr. Midnight" (frankly, I think "The Green Shawl" is more ominous) and opines that he is "awesome." Mark asks The Weasel how he hurt himself, and Dr. Dave says that The Weasel sliced himself with a razor blade. Cut to The Weasel's face; we can see he has a wide horizontal cut just below his hairline. He explains that this practice is known as "blading," and that the fans love it. Mark asks whether Dr. Dave has the situation under control, and Dr. Dave says he does, and that he's trying to convince The Weasel not to cut himself in the head anymore. What would today's youth do without mentors? Mark suggests that Dr. Dave update The Weasel's tetanus while he's at it. Dr. Dave starts droning on about the myriad dangers of head cutting: "See? There's another risk -- tetanus. Then, of course, there's nerve damage, hepatitis, you could put your eye out, you know? And don't forget about scarring. Scarring's...that's not a good one. Chicks don't dig scarring. They don't dig that Frankenstein look, if you know what I'm saying. Right, Dr. Greene?" HA! Well, this chick doesn't. Mark glances up; he didn't hear the question. Dr. Dave mutters, "Never mind." Hee.

Romano's office. Romano tells Weaver she could have given him a heads up. Weaver lies that his telling her was the first she'd heard about "these allegations." Romano insists that she must have had some indication that Mitchell is a lesbian. Weaver deflects by asking what that has to do with anything. Romano opines that it's "the crux of the problem." Weaver evenly replies that the problem is a false accusation from a patient with psychological problems: "She could have just as easily made a similar indictment against one of the male doctors." Romano points out that the patient didn't charge any of the male doctors, and asks whether Weaver's ever had any other complaints about Mitchell in the ER. "Of course not," Weaver instantly replies. Romano continues, "And she's never displayed any unacceptable sexual behaviour that you've witnessed." Weaver's like, "Sexual? Yes. Unacceptable? Fuck no!" But she communicates this, to me alone, by staring straight ahead in stony silence. Romano's like, "Well?" Weaver snaps, "What do you think?" Romano fixes her with an appraising look and says he thinks she's holding out on him. Weaver tries to chuckle like she can't believe how ridiculous he's being, and, through her fake chuckle, barely audibly says, "Oh, please, Robert!" Romano presses that he thinks Weaver's trying to protect Mitchell. Weaver insists, "Of course I'm trying to protect her! You should be, too! She is a damn good doctor!" Romano blurts that he's calling for an emergency disciplinary hearing with Weaver and Anspaugh. Weaver protests that he knows Shannon's charges are a joke. Romano leans over the desk toward her and snaps, "No one's laughing, Kerry." "This is a witch hunt," Weaver mutters. Um, if it is? The witch is up in Surgery and her name is Elizabeth. Please, tie some stones to her and throw her in Lake Michigan to see if she drowns! Romano says it's damage control. Weaver starts to get up, asking, "Are we finished?" As she crutches off, Romano says, "Can I give you some friendly advice?" "No!" she barks.

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