ER
Witch Hunt

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Wing Chun: C | 1 USERS: A+
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Witch Hunt

Doc Magoo's. Carter and Rena have a flirty, inconsequential conversation, during which Carter relates an anecdote about trying to recreate a chariot scene from Spartacus using a couple of his grandfather's horses. Anyway, he changes the subject by asking how her seminar was. She corrects him: "It was a lecture on Developmental Psychology. Freud, Piaget, Kohlberg. It was boring." Carter says, "Blast from the past, huh? It's like being back in college." "I am in college," Rena replies. Carter adds, "No, I meant as an undergraduate." "I am," Rena repeats. Carter almost chokes on his coffee, but sets it down and says, "I thought you said you were a Pedes intern." She explains that she's doing a Child Life internship in the Pedes department. Carter looks like he's going to throw up. Rena goes on, "I need four hundred and eighty hours of clinical experience to certify, and I figured if I start now, I'll be done by the time I graduate." "Graduate!" Carter echoes, and asks, "How old are you?" "Twenty," Rena answers, adding, "in September." Oh, please. You say you're "twenty in September" when it's, like, August. Maybe July. I'm twenty-six; in March, I don't go around telling people I'm "twenty-seven...in November." Carter queenily presses his fingers to his lips and squeals, "You're nineteen?!" Rena says she is and asks, "Are you okay?" Carter takes a moment to let it sink in that when he started at County, Rena probably hadn't even had her first period yet. Yeah. Sicko.

ER. Lisa bustles in to check on Dark Hair and her baby. The baby gurgles cutely as Dark Hair dozes against the railing of the bed. Lisa checks the machines near the baby, and Dark Hair asks if she's doing better. Lisa says she still isn't getting as much air into her lungs as she'd like, and that, while it might just be a cold, they're going to do a chest x-ray to make sure. Dark Hair asks whether she may go with the baby to Radiology, and Lisa says she can. Dark Hair looks out of sorts; Lisa asks whether she's okay, and Dark Hair says that she hasn't slept much in the past few days. Lisa suggests that Dark Hair go get a cup of coffee while they wait for the baby to be transported to Radiology. Dark Hair agrees, and leaves. Lisa's writing on the baby's chart when Carter comes to the doorway and asks whether Lisa's got a minute to talk.

Lisa walks up to Carter and remains stationed in the doorway, but as he starts to tell her he just had lunch with Rena, he notices two other ER staffers standing directly behind Lisa, and steers her across the hall and into the opposite doorway -- no more than five or six feet from the doorway to the baby's room; Lisa still has her back to the baby, though. Carter continues by saying that, having just had lunch with Rena, he thinks there's a problem. Lisa guesses that Rena chews with her mouth open. Carter says that Rena's young. Lisa replies that Carter isn't exactly an old man, himself, and that he could stand to loosen up a little bit. Carter says, "She's really young." Lisa -- not realizing the primo Acapulco Gold gossip Carter's about to lay on her -- snorts, "What is she, like, twenty-three or something?" Carter flicks his head and smirks, and Lisa guesses, "Twenty-two?" Carter raises his eyebrows, and Lisa, starting to get the picture, disgustedly asks, "Is she twenty?" "In September," Carter replies. "She's a teenager? Carter!" hisses Lisa. Carter -- sheepish but still laughing and really being kind of horny despite the scandal of it all -- insists that he didn't know. Lisa can't believe he didn't ask Rena how old she was, but Carter argues that "women don't like to tell you their age." Lisa observes, "Well, she's not a woman -- she's a girl!" Carter simply says, "She's a woman. Believe me." At least he doesn't add, "If she wasn't, she is now," but Lisa gets the subtext anyway (because it was so subtle) and asks, "Did you sleep with her?" Carter, still sporting the Perma-Smirk, doesn't answer, but Lisa guesses that his silence means that he did, and she's scandalized. "I didn't know!" Carter tells her in a plaintive yet pleased tone. "You couldn't tell?" Lisa marvels. Um. Not to get into specifics, but I think that a nineteen-year-old girl might be a bit more...um...proficient in the ways of love than, say, a nineteen-year-old guy would. Or maybe it's just that an older guy would be able to gloss over said nineteen-year-old girl's shortcomings -- particularly if he's "lonely," as Carter told us he was last week. Lisa asks whether Carter broke up with Rena, and Carter says, "Not yet." Lisa asks what he's waiting for: "You're going to call your lawyer?" Carter argues, "She's very mature for her age! She's cool! She's fun, she's --" "She's Britney Spears's little sister," Lisa concludes for him. Carter says, "Thank you," and I'm not sure if he's sarcastically thanking her for the dis, or sincerely thanking her for putting things in perspective. Dark Hair calls Lisa, so Carter leaves. Okay, I have to say, no matter how close a friendship we're supposed to think Carter and Lisa have after they went to the benefit together and let the air out of Richard's car , I don't really buy that Carter would tell Lisa about Rena's youth. On the one hand, if he's planning to break up with her, he would rather Lisa not know anything about Rena -- especially if he's carrying a torch for Lisa herself. On the other, if he's planning to try to have a relationship with Rena, he wouldn't want Lisa to be prejudiced against Rena because of her age -- and also wouldn't want that gossip to get around the ER, especially since everyone already knew they'd slept together within a maximum of forty seconds after Amira read the card that came with the coffee basket. But, I know there had to be some reason for Lisa to leave the baby alone, and this was it.

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