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Witch Hunt

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Wing Chun: C | 1 USERS: A+
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Witch Hunt

Mr. Midnight makes mean faces at himself in a mirror near his bed. Okay, "acute acne"? The kid's got maybe three zits on each cheek. Please. Mark comes in and Mr. Midnight says he needs to go home. Mark tells him he ordered some tests, "the kind that show [he's] using steroids." Totally not the Dr. Dave approach! Based on the very little doctoring we've seen Dr. Dave do in the last few episodes -- I'm thinking particularly of the episode to which I've already linked above, in which Dr. Dave treated the guy who was trying to contract HIV from his partner -- we know that, if Mr. Midnight were Dr. Dave's patient, Dr. Dave would come in and ask him whether he was on steroids; in fact, that is exactly what he suggested Mark do, not to come in and bluff about some tests Mark totally didn't order, and be all stern and judgmental about it. Dr. Dave may be a clown, but he's a better doctor than Mark! MARK SUCKS! Anyway, sorry, I got off-track. Where was I? Oh, right. Mark was sucking. I wasn't off-track at all. Mr. Midnight says he doesn't know what Mark's talking about. Mark sucks, "I think you do. What you might not know is that you're putting yourself at risk for kidney failure, stroke, impotence...." Mr. Midnight sets his jaw and starts getting out of bed. Mark sucks, "Where are you going?" Mr. Midnight says he's going home. Mark sucks at him to sit back down, but Mr. Midnight ignores him and keeps trying to leave. Mark gets in Mr. Midnight's face and sucks, "You've got to stay here until your parents come and get you." Mr. Midnight demands, "You called my parents?" Mark sucks that The Weasel left, and that somebody's got to get Mr. Midnight home. Mr. Midnight loses it and goes on a little 'roid rampage, overturning stuff in the room, including Mark, who sucks onto the floor. Mr. Midnight strolls out into the hall right past Dr. Dave, who, seeing Mark sucking on the floor, runs over to help him. Mark shakes it off and sucks, "I'm okay! Just go get him! Don't let him leave!"

In the hall, Dr. Dave chases after Mr. Midnight, asking what he's doing. Mr. Midnight says he's leaving. Dr. Dave asks what Mr. Midnight is afraid of; he says he's not afraid of anything, but that he's had enough of the hospital. Dr. Dave tells him that they haven't finished working him up, and that they're just trying to help him. Mr. Midnight tells Dr. Dave to let him go.

Mr. Midnight stomps into the ambulance bay, with Dr. Dave walking backwards in front of him. Dr. Dave reaches out his arms, telling Mr. Midnight to stop and to take it easy, whereupon Mr. Midnight takes a swing at Dr. Dave, yelling at him to stay out of his way, and adding that he doesn't want to hurt Dr. Dave. Dr. Dave keeps his arms out in front of him in a gesture of surrender, and soothingly tells Mr. Midnight to relax and come back inside. Mr. Midnight continues fighting, saying that his dad will be mad if they don't let him leave. Dr. Dave says that Mr. Midnight Sr. would want them to take care of him. Mr. Midnight splutters that Mark is going to tell Mr. Midnight Sr. that Mr. Midnight is using steroids, and that his father will kill him if he finds out. Dr. Dave gently tells him that Mr. Midnight's dad doesn't have to find out, and Mr. Midnight insists that Mark (who has now rejoined the party) already said he was going to tell Mr. Midnight's parents -- which, in fairness, he didn't, though the threat was implied. Mark ineptly tries to calm Mr. Midnight down by sucking some more. Mr. Midnight ignores Mark and appeals directly to Dr. Dave: "Look. You don't know my father. He'll kill me if he finds out." Dr. Dave quietly replies, "You're right. I don't know your father. But I know the type. Trust me, okay? Okay? We'll work something out, right, Dr. Greene?" Mark sucks, "Yeah," whatever, and goes inside. Dr. Dave and Mr. Midnight (my favourite Robert Louis Stevenson story) shake on it.

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