Escape From Oz

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
See No Evil

In the main area, Hill tells Poet that something unspecified will work. Wangler asks what, and Poet sits down and tells him that Hill's got a plan to escape from Oz: When a prisoner dies in Oz, his body is sent to the funeral home in a box for burial, so next time someone dies, he'll smuggle himself out in the corpse's place. Coushaine, nosier than the oldest dowager at a church Bingo game, points out that the coffins are airtight, and that he'd asphyxiate. Hill thinks some "subtle little holes" would take care of that. Another issue: the coffin will be sealed. Hill says he'll get some of his friends on the outside to come to the funeral home and bust him out. Also, what will he do with the body? Hill: "How hard is it to hide a couple bodies up in Oz?" Silence. Hee. Coushaine thinks Hill is on to something, but Poet doesn't look convinced, and Wangler thinks he should stick with the plan of mailing himself out. Hill claims he was "bullshitting" with that plan. I certainly hope so. McManus happens by and glares at Poet, who gets up and leaves. I hope those two work things out, so they can get off my damn screen already.

Sippel paces in a glass cage as, behind him, a projection of Hill tells us that everyone wants out of prison, but once they get out, some find it difficult, and if I wanted to revisit every single plot point in The Shawshank Redemption, I'd watch it, because it's way, way better than this shit.

Establishing shot of a thunderstorm, and then a drenched Sippel enters Oz. The guard who, if I recall correctly, gets fired for drinking on the job later in the series calls someone with the news that Sippel is there, and then asks if Sippel met any cute boys on the outside. "Any boys with the first name 'Dick'?" And we meet another member of the Oz Hack Comedy Troupe. Laugh at their jokes and honor the two-drink minimum, or they'll club you in the knee.

Cut to Pete walking with Sippel. She notes that he looks exhausted, and he admits that he's had a tough few days. "Registering as a convicted pervert was more difficult than I thought." I can't imagine that he thought it would be a joyride, but what he means is he had to go down to the courthouse and stand in line with people who wanted fishing licenses and learner's permits and various other non-child-molesting things, and when he got up to the counter and explained his business, the clerk loudly snapped, "Perverts fill out these!" Yeah, Oz is in New York, all right. But shouldn't he at least have an address before he registers? He also confesses that the job hunt has been fruitless, and that he's been sleeping on the subway. So Mukada's pull with the Cardinal only goes so far. Pete says she'll do whatever she can to help, and Sippel explains that that's why he's there: He wants her to ask Glynn if he can sleep in Oz.

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