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Sara M: D | Grade It Now!
Two Suns, One Hot Mess

Carter and Zane are so pissed at Allison for backing down that they don't even offer her a ride home in Carter's Jeep. When Carter moans that Eva took all their evidence, Zane pulls out the data chip he managed to take out of the light scanner thingy and says they've still got that, and it's got all their readings and scans on it. Carter's smile is short-lived as there's a flash of bright light outside. He pulls the Jeep over and they look up at the mini-sun, which isn't looking very mini these days. Zane says it should be burning itself out. Instead, it's getting bigger. And hotter.

After the break, Jo exposits that it's midnight, light as day outside, and 110 degrees in the shade. Because no one in Eureka has ever heard of sleep masks, they are refusing to sleep until they get their dark nights back, so now they're all sleep-deprived and cranky. Jo practically screams over the radio that this reminds her of "tornado weather" and she has a "really bad feeling about this," which I'm sure the many residents lying within earshot of her are thrilled to hear. Carter's at Henry's garage, pulling up the scans from the data chip. He asks Henry if he has any idea who the bodies were. Henry says there must be something wrong with the scans, since he's getting readings from them that don't make sense: the bodies appear to have been forty years old when they died in 1939. But they're only eighty years old now. Which would be fine if it was 1979. But it's not. The bodies are missing thirty years. Meanwhile, Henry is so cool under pressure that even though it's over a hundred degrees outside, he's still rocking the long sleeves.

Eva's back at GD, hanging out with three body bags. They're the only people left in town who can stand her company. She tells her personal GD security team to post someone outside the bunker at all times. As for the bodies, they're being readied for "transport." Eva's crack personal GD security team has let her down yet again, though, as no one thought to warn her that Allison was standing right behind her when she said that. Now Allison wants to know where those bodies are going. Eva says that's classified, and would Allison please go away. Allison isn't going anywhere until Eva acts like a real friend and tells her who the bodies are. Eva says she knows it looks bad, with her hiding mystery bodies she found in a mystery bunker and all, but the bodies belonged to "good men who gave their lives for this town," even though it wasn't established until 1950 (or WAS IT???). "And it could have been prevented," Eva spits. Getting right to the truth of the matter (oh come on, you had to have seen this coming as soon as Henry said the bodies aged at half the rate they were supposed to), Allison says Eva acts like she knew the men personally. "Why are you doing this?" Allison asks as the GD guard finally wakes up and starts to escort her out. "Because I have to," Eva non-answers. She turns away and sniffles into a tissue, which was a weird move. Is she supposed to be crying or wiping sweat from her brow? Because it just looks like she blew her nose.

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