Eureka

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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How I Could Just Kill A Dimension

The rude woman with the peeing and parking problems waltzes into Café Diem and orders a large diet soda before asking for the location of the nearest bathroom. So her bladder is the size of a pea and yet she still hasn't learned her lesson about not drinking large quantities of fluids? She heads for the toilet just as Carter enters and cheerfully greets his daughter, because unlike Lexi, Zoe is employed. "I REALLY wish you wouldn't do that!" Zoe snaps back. Carter figures he's being shit on by yet another person in this town, but Zoe is actually talking to Drechmeyer, who took his TIRD detector to Café Diem and happily reports that "my TIRD meter is going wild!" Vince doesn't seem the least bit worried that Drechmeyer is from the health inspector's office or anything, just loudly whispers for Carter to do something about Drechmeyer before he scares all the customers away. Carter takes a seat with Drechmeyer just as a salt shaker moves itself across the counter. "Did anyone just see that?" Zoe asks. Vince, standing behind her, raises his hand slowly. The rest of the salt shakers follow their brother to the other side of the counter. Drechmeyer stands and announces that his TIRD meter is spiking and "it's starting!" With that, the walls shake and various bottles and sections of Café Diem décor fling themselves across the room. Carter orders everyone to get down on the ground to avoid being hit. Drechmeyer stays standing, as does the woman, who emerges from the bathroom with no idea that something is amiss despite the fact that people are screaming and things are crashing loudly on the floor all around her. Carter manages to push her out of the way of a rogue espresso machine right before it kills her. It flies out the window and lands in the street, where it somehow does not take out the Sheriffmobile.

After the break, Vince has the espresso machine back on the counter, but I don't think he's going to be able to fix this one. Carter hopefully asks if there's anything on the premises that could explain what just happened, only for Drechmeyer to blame it on spirits. The woman chimes in with a suggestion of "real" poltergeists. "Not real, and not helping," Carter snaps. I love it when he tells people they aren't helping. Allison walks in to order Carter to do something menial. Drechmeyer tries to talk to her about the proof of ghosts he now has, but she just rolls her eyes before spotting the woman, who she recognizes. It's her old friend, Tess! Carter figures she's in town for a "girl's weekend" or a baby shower. Tess stands around with her mouth open while Allison says they need to go. Drechmeyer allows them to leave but insists they come back tonight so he can prove his theory by making contact with the spiritual world. Allison agrees to this because Drechmeyer says if it doesn't work, he'll leave town on his own.

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Eureka

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