Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
Bowling For Goop

After a lengthy "previously on" segment that tells us exactly what's going to happen in this episode, a bathrobed Carter walks into his kitchen to find Zoe and Lexi working on a "baby book" for the upcoming children. They've got a bunch of photos all over the table of various people that I'm not sure have all that much to do with the babies. Like, don't you put pictures of your babies in a baby book? SARAH agrees with me and speaks up to say that she can make her own superior baby book using all of her technology. "Some things are better the old-fashioned way," Lexi says. Meanwhile, she's cutting out digital photos taken on a digital camera printed out on 8 1/2" x 11" photo paper for some reason even though the photos themselves are much smaller. So it's really not that old-fashioned, is it? Also, it's a waste of photo paper. Carter asks about Duncan, and Lexi says she hasn't heard from him but is sure he's off curing diseases somewhere. She reminds the room that his reaction to her pregnancy was why she didn't want to tell him in the first place, not like it really made a difference. When he didn't know, he was halfway around the world curing diseases. Now that he does know, he's still halfway around the world curing diseases. Except now he's on the hook for child support. Times two! Zoe apologizes for urging Lexi to tell Duncan, saying she really thought they'd be able to work things out. And I'm sure they would have, if they were mature adults. That was Zoe's mistake. "Life is messy sometimes," Lexi shrugs. "Is it?" Carter asks. Lexi takes great offense to what I thought was a rather innocuous statement, saying he's implying that this is all her fault and for their entire life, he's always refused to take her side. She might have a point there, as the next thing out of Carter's mouth is "cut the guy some slack." Abandoning the mother of your future children is seriously lame, and no slack can be cut. Even though, as Carter points out, Lexi did lie to the guy for months only to suddenly reveal two babies that were hiding underneath an optical illusion shirt. "Life is messy. But this isn't how you clean it up," Carter says. He leaves the room, and Zoe checks in to see how her aunt is feeling. "I'm fine," she says. Zoe is sick of the lies and denials so she, too, leaves the room. Lexi comes across a photo of her and Duncan together and promptly cuts Duncan out of it.

Carter arrives at Café Diem to find Fargo and Zoe's boyfriend Lucas (long time, no see!) hanging up a banner that says "Aliens welcome!" Vince quickly clarifies that they're not talking about actual aliens, which won't be arriving in Eureka until the season finale, but Area 51's bowling team. Carter has been in town for about two years now but this is the first he's hearing about the intense rivalry between GD and Area 51's bowling teams. Even Lucas knows about it, and he's in high school. And yet, also a long-time member of the bowling team. Huh? Surely there's a better way to shoehorn Lucas into the show than this. It doesn't make sense for him to be a member of the GD bowling team. Fargo, maybe. Lucas, no. Fargo says that Area 51 doesn't have any aliens, but they got that reputation and Eureka enjoys making fun of them for it, as the teasing throws Area 51 off of their game. With that, the Area 51 bowling team arrives, and Fargo greets his alter-ego team captain named Bismarck. Geography nerd alert: Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota, but Fargo is the most populated city in the state. Nice touch, writers. Bismarck and Fargo exchange trash talk until Fargo shuts Area 51 down by introducing them to "Big Ed," Eureka's secret weapon. From the kitchen of Café Diem comes a very, very large man. Big Ed isn't just a former PBA champion -- he's also a gifted biochemist. Bullshit! He's a ringer. Also, he doesn't look like any PBA player I've ever seen. Where's the pot belly and the moustache? Bismarck takes exception to this, but Fargo was waiting for that and says anyone employed "here" can play in the league. By "here" does he mean in Eureka or at GD? Either way, I still don't see how Lucas is eligible. Does he even have a job? Anyway, my favorite part of this scene is the extras on both bowling teams, who have no lines but put their all into those facial expressions. Especially the Area 51 girl with the glasses.

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