Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
Bowling For Goop

Back at command central, Tess takes a moment to tell Carter he was wrong about how to stop Spot, and even Allison has to tell her to can it already. Carter says he still thinks there was something about the way Spot jumped off of Fargo. "Maybe he didn't like the way he tasted," Tess shrugs. But, as always happens on this show, her offhand remark has given way to a real idea. Carter suggests that it was Duncan's "beauty cream" that repulsed Spot, and Henry says if it can neutralize gamma radiation then maybe it can neutralize Spot, too. Allison gives them a rundown of the ingredients in Duncan's cream, and when she gets to desiccants and Henry explains what they are to Carter, he decides that salt is the way to kill Spot. Because shower-water-to-cold jump to conclusions worked so well before. Apparently, since Spot kind of looks like a slug and salt kills slugs, Carter thinks salt will work on Spot, too. Oh -- I guess they're just going to use Duncan's cream formula, which is a much better idea. I'm not sure why they wasted all that time talking about salt and slugs, then. Carter suggests flushing a ton of the cream down a toilet and killing Spot in the pipes, but Allison thinks that won't work because the outer shell she's assuming Spot has will protect him. Henry says they'll need to figure out a way to get the cream inside Spot. Carter has an idea. You'll note that Tess contributed next to nothing to this entire brainstorming session. [To be fair, isn't she an astrophysicist? Or a xenolinguist or some such? I don't think she's a xenobiologist. Not that any of them are. - Z]

Jo escorts Bismarck into GD. They meet with Carter and Fargo in the rotunda and Bismarck expresses surprise that Fargo isn't green while Fargo says that Bismarck continues to be stupid. Carter tells them both to shut up and orders Bismarck to give him the camouscope. Bismarck says no way -- they don't have Area 51 clearance. Area 51 is so much better than GD. I mean, they actually respect their secrets and clearance levels and stuff. I'll bet Area 51 is a lot like Eureka was in the first season. Tess appears and smirks that she does have the necessary clearance. When Bismarck says she's "slumming" by working at GD, she says that he's tried to transfer to GD three times. And didn't get in? But they have so many open positions there due to the high staff mortality rate! For this, Fargo laughs at Bismarck. Let's see how hard he's laughing when Bismarck's transfer finally does come through and he bumps Fargo out of captain position on the GD bowling team. And then dies as the result of an experiment gone awry because he was too excited about its possibilities to follow proper safety protocol. Bismarck hands the camouscope to Tess, who gives it to Henry, because now that she works for GD she has no respect for clearances and stuff. With that, everyone takes off to figure out a way to use Duncan's cream and the camouscope against Spot except for Tess and Carter, who stay behind to pat themselves on the back for their handling of the situation until the building shakes and the alarms start going off.

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