Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
Bowling For Goop

Carter has to leave the heated bowling team rivalry to answer another one of Allison's calls. Oh, but she's got a partner in neediness now -- Tess is still here, and critical of how long it took for Carter to arrive. At least he wasn't late because he had to pull over to the side of the road and pee with such intensity that he didn't even notice when the fifth dimension moved his car across the road, Tess. They want Carter to help them collect all the Glowbidium around town. "Glowbi-what?" Carter asks. Glowbidium, Allison explains, is one of those lame nuclear elements that don't naturally occur in nature but still somehow get to be on the periodic table. You know, the ones that begin with U and have three letters. I hate those. Except for Unununium (Uuu) which was my favorite, but now I see it has been renamed to stupid Roentgenium (Rg). Anyway, seeing as how Glowbidium only exists in GD-land and therefore isn't on the periodic table, why would Tess and Allison expect Carter to know what it was at all? It's so mean how they basically make him ask questions about things that it's perfectly reasonable for him not to know about. Apparently, they've loaned their Glowbidium out to various Eurekans for years to field-test it (because that seems like a really good idea when dealing with a fairly unknown radioactive substance), but now they need it all back for a new project, and some people aren't complying with the order because the people in this town are assholes. So now Carter gets to play repo man with his "inimitable Andy Griffith charm," as Tess says. Carter says Tess makes even her compliments sound insulting, to which Tess says that wasn't a compliment. Um, yes, Tess, it was. Try watching The Andy Griffith Show sometime. Now if she had said "inimitable Don Knotts charm," that would have been a non-compliment. Carter asks why they can't just whip up a new batch of Glowbidium, to which Allison explains that it takes six months and they need it much sooner. Carter asks if that means this has something to do with the signal from space. "You told him?" Tess asks, totally blowing it. Ha! Three Ph.Ds and none of them are in secret-keeping. Carter excitedly asks when the "little green men" are coming to town. Tess says she can't share those details. Carter points out that they shared another dimension just last episode. That's a lame line, but it somehow wins the face-off and a smile from Tess, although I can't tell if it's because the actress doesn't quite know how to play this character or she's supposed to have a crush on Carter or what. And frankly, I don't really care. Carter looks at the list of people who won't give up the Glowbidium, only to find his own name on it. Apparently, SARAH runs on the stuff. And since no one told Carter he had to give it back, it stands to reason that the other people on the list aren't people who refused to give it back, but rather people who had no idea they were supposed to give it back at all. And instead of sending out an e-mail to tell them, Allison is making Carter do all the work and wasting his time. Of course. Carter worries about what SARAH will say when she finds out she has to give up her Glowbidium. Well, if history is any indication, she'll probably just try to kill everyone in the world.

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