Eureka

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Finale, Finally

Meanwhile, Crazy Julia explains Nemesis to people like me, who don't bother learning about the various ways our world could end: Nemesis is a theoretical neutron star in binary orbit with the sun. Every 65 million years or so, they cross orbits, causing the magnetism of the North and South poles to reverse and creating what Fargo describes as "total global chaos." "How much time do we have?" Carter asks, very concerned. "If we're lucky, maybe 2,000 years," Crazy Julia says. Carter just became a lot less concerned. Larry says they've got more pressing world-destroying issues to worry about, namely the supercollider. He says it's bigger and badder than the one at CERN, which is already pretty big and bad, and it'll mess with the laws of physics, which is never a good thing. As he storms out, Jo speaks up to say that she agrees with him. And since the world is coming to an end anyway, she thinks Carter might as well enjoy Muffin Monday. He does. I just hope that Jo's new stance against supercolliders doesn't cause friction between her and Zane. I had enough of their relationship issues last week.

Even though we just had an episode dedicated to how Fargo screws everything up, usually to the peril of the entire town, he is allowed to touch the controls of the supercollider. Zane is there, too, as is Carter, who apparently decided this thing was worth checking out after all. Zane and Fargo rev up the machine as Tess talks about how awesome it will be if they discover dark energy. The applications she describes all go over Carter's head. "I love when you talk nerdy to me," he says. The CGI machine spins faster and faster, and then -- well, what do you know? -- something goes wrong. Lightning bolts shoot out from the machine. Alarms blare. Fargo reports a power surge, and Zane says the dampening rings are destabilizing. A piece of the rapidly-spinning machine breaks off and crashes right into the easily-destroyed control booth.

After the break, everyone is safe, but they're all talking like they just sucked all the helium out of a balloon. Or, as Carter describes it, "like Chip and Dale." Apparently, Syfy didn't making a product placement deal with Alvin and the Chipmunks. Fargo explains that it's from the liquid helium they use to cool the magnets around the collider tunnel. The supply line must have burst open in the explosion. Zane shuts off the helium valve while Carter mutters that he was right when he said they should wear safety goggles. Tess just wants to know what happened to the supercollider, and makes her demand angrily and, thanks to the high voice, ridiculously. Zane and Fargo blame each other as Tess notes a warning on Zane's computer indicating voltage spike. As Zane's voice returns to normal and the high voice thing goes nowhere, he says there's no way that could have happened on its own, because the stabilizers are shielded. "Something or someone did this," he says. Or maybe you just suck at calibrations, Mr. Quick-To-Accuse. Tess can't believe anyone would sabotage the supercollider, because she still doesn't know how insane and self-interested the scientists who report to her are. Of course, Carter has one suspect in mind.

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Eureka

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