And yet, after the break, we're lead to believe that Allison's delivery is imminent. Doesn't labor take a lot longer than that usually? If Allison wasn't trapped in a room and about to be vibrated to death I'd say she was one of the luckiest moms ever! Carter tries to make Allison feel better by saying they've been through worse together, although that's not really true if this whole thing ends in their deaths. Carter thinks that showing Allison more memories of all the crazy things they've survived together will help her remember how the neural net works. She puts the halo back on and tells it to show her Eureka. Explosions! Destruction! Dead scientists! Carter saving the town! Bugs! Carter saving the town again! And now they only have ten minutes left before the sonic cleaning starts. Allison decides to try to figure out that neural net thing. FINALLY.
Zoe and Tess arrive at GD. It only took them, what, ten minutes to get there? It's not like the page said it was urgent or anything. Zoe is told to find Carter and Allison while Tess shuts off the sonic cleaning, hopefully not by using the fail-safe. Because it doesn't work. Zoe remembers that she can't get into Section 5 as she's the only person in town who doesn't have security clearance. Tess quickly sets her up with some and that's all it takes!
Back down in S5, Allison has no luck with the neural net. Carter tries to remain optimistic, and neither of them seem to realize that the real pressing matter right now isn't that Allison is in labor, but that she'll be reduced to a puddle of goo before she can actually deliver anything. "I'm glad that you're here," Allison says. So you're glad that Carter is down there to die with you? How kind. Carter says he'll always be there for Allison, "no matter what." No matter how boring or bossy she gets, he'll be there. Even when they have absolutely no chemistry left, he'll be there. Great. Allison sort of implies that she pictured her and Carter together at one point. "Bad timing," Carter shrugs. Or bad writing. Your choice! With that, Zoe arrives with the good news that Tess is shutting down the sonic cleaning. Everything is okay again! Except that Allison is still in labor. Oh, and the computer comes on to warn them that the sonic cleaning will start in five minutes. Allison dubs in a line that she can't move right now because she's in labor, so Carter will have to go find Tess and stop the sonic cleaning. Zoe will stay with Allison. I'm sorry, but if I were Carter, I'd make sure my only daughter was far and away from GD right now. Just in case.
Carter finds Tess in Allison's office. She has no idea who he is. Uh oh. Carter re-introduces himself to Tess and tries to quickly bring her up to speed on what's going on, why she can't remember anything, and how she needs to shut off the sonic cleaning in two minutes or they'll all die. Okay, why couldn't they all have just spent this time getting the hell out of GD? Labor or not, I'll bet Allison could get her ass out of GD to save her life, right? Carter asks Tess if she has any Eureka memories. She doesn't -- until he brings up the meteor shower. With no time to waste, he kisses her. That does it. But Tess wastes precious time going in for a second kiss instead of saving their lives. And now they only have thirty seconds to shut the sonic cleaning down. Tess tries, but she's still having memory problems. As the seconds wind down, she grabs Kinison's PDA and simply waves it in front of the computer. The cleaning is cancelled.
But it's not over yet! Now they have to deliver Allison's baby and give everyone in town their memories back. Which shouldn't really be all that difficult seeing how easy it was for Tess and Allison.
They've got Allison set up to deliver down in Tess's lab (at least, it had better be Tess's lab. I'm going to be very annoyed if Allison found a way to walk to the infirmary but couldn't get her ass out the door). While Carter rubs her shoulder, Zoe is in charge of delivering the baby. This seems ... opposite. But I guess Carter really wants to put his birthing classes to good use. Even though he didn't finish them. And Zoe's pretty good at the job thus far, thanks to Tesla High's very thorough sex ed classes. I guess they aren't taught by the gym teachers like my school's sex ed classes were. As Allison pushes and moans, Tess runs in with Fargo, who gets an eyeful of his boss's vagina and says "oh! You could warn a guy!" Awesome. Fargo's memory has been restored thanks to Tess's remote halo and the memories from Jo's storycatcher, which Tess says were "doozies." Fargo says he's thrilled to remember his many failures. Really, it is cruel to give that back to him. It's not like he was learning anything from them, so what's the point? Carter says that Fargo can make up for all of it now by bringing everyone's memories back, and Fargo says he'd be happy to do that if he knew what he did to erase them in the first place. Carter says it had something to do with neural connections, and Fargo hits on an idea to "reverse the neural flow" that he loses when Allison distracts him with her labor moans. Zoe says she can see the baby's head, so Allison's labor really did go ridiculously quickly, much to a squeamish Fargo's chagrin.
Despite that, he manages to figure out a way to bring the memories back with a large-scale upload that should bring everyone's memories back at the same time. Or, alternately, erase them permanently. Why not just give everyone a session with the halo? It worked for Fargo and Allison. Or Carter could make out with them, like he did for Tess. It might take longer, but it seems much safer. While Carter roots Allison on in the baby-birthing department, Tess roots Fargo on in the memory-restoring area. He's afraid he'll erase the greatest scientific minds in the world with this, but Carter screams at him to push the button and do it. "It's a lot of pressure!" Fargo whines. The entire room screams at him to push the button. It still doesn't work. "PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON, FARGO!" Allison lets loose. That does the trick. He pushes the button and ... everyone's storycatchers light up with pretty colors. As Allison gives a final push, we get another clip montage. I love the one where Vince looks up and simply says "oh crap!" This clip show is really reminding me of how awesome he is. But then it's followed by Stark's disintegration, which sucks. Also, when did Carter work out while wearing a Frankie Says Relax (sort of -- it's the cheap version that just says RELAX) tank top? Because I need to see that episode. And why are the majority of the clips either from the dream episode or the episode where Fargo got stuck in a giant expanding bubble? Did the writer and/or clip montage putter-togetherer really like Season Two or something?
Anyway, the upload does the trick. Jo recognizes Henry across the counter at Café Diem and calls out his name with a giggle. Henry has no idea when he arrived, but comments that Jo's soup smells good. So it's still hot and delicious-smelling even though it was served before Allison went into labor and she's now delivered the baby? Wow.
Back at GD, Fargo is very proud of himself to have done something right and says "take that, posterity!" Hee. His triumph is short-lived, however, when he walks over to Allison's side of the room, sees her vagina that's apparently still out on display, and promptly faints. I probably would too -- can you imagine what that must look like if it was able to spit out a baby in ten minutes? Carter hands the baby over to Allison, all wrapped up in a baby blanket with a pacifier that Tess apparently keeps in her lab. Allison thanks Carter and Zoe for their help and says the baby's name is Jenna. And the last name is Stark. And we'll never see her again. Allison wraps things up quickly because she's on maternity leave now and leaves GD in the hands of Tess, which has got to piss off the GD employees who have been here for more than three weeks and were passed over for the job. "Clearly, you can handle a crisis," Allison says. What, by almost drowning or peeing a lot or for