"I don't know," Amy guesses. "You prayed. No, wait. Porn." Both good guesses, I thought. My next idea would have been that he prayed for porn, but I would have also been wrong.
Because, no. All this greatness is, according to Bright, due to Jillian, the girl who almost sued him for sexual harassment and got him fired. Amy looks on in shock as Bright explains, "I apologized to her, for getting bored with her after three days and treating her like crap! Like, I dumped her ass, but then I said I was sorry. And I meant it!" Dude, "dumped her ass"? Harsh words for primetime.
Bright then lays out his plan to go around and apologize to every girl "I've dicked over" in the past. DUDE. "Dicked over"? What is going on on the WB? Anyway, Amy hears this plan, pauses, and asks, "Seriously, Bright...can't you just volunteer at a hospital?" Nope, he has a list of names and everything, starting with the girl in sixth grade who let him touch her boobs. Names keep coming to him to add to the list. "Taco Bell Chick! With the clock tattoo. Or, was it Taco Time Chick with the bell tattoo?"
Over at Edna's, Rose is trying her best to talk some sense into her mother-in-law. Edna's on a rant, so she can barely get a word in. When Rose says she can understand why Edna is angry, Edna reminds her that if she gets angry enough she could have her squad full of old Army buddies corner Irv in a parking lot and beat him with a sack of nickels. This show is a lot more like Deadwood than I realized.
Edna tells Rose, "Don't worry about me. I'm a decorated war veteran. I've tied tourniquets on blown-off legs with blood squirting clear across the tent. One time my hand cramped, and I had to use my teeth." She's tough, you dig? She thinks she should be able to handle getting over Irv leaving her but, actually, she seems unable to get past it. She remembers that when Hal Sr. died, it hurt, but it made sense and she was able to deal with it. "But this one...it's weeks later...I'm still IN it. When something's over, it should be over. Why should I care if his smell is leaving the pillow?"
Clearly, she does care. Edna is pretty awesome in this scene. She's hurting, and Rose knows it, but Edna spurns all attempts Rose makes at trying to get her to share her feelings with Irv. "Oh, no. He left." Rose says that's just pride talking. "Do you even know what I had to do," Rose says, "to keep Harold from running off and joining the seminary three days before we got married?" Edna: "I don't want to." Hee. The point is, Rose says, Edna wouldn't still be so upset if the marriage wasn't worth saving. Edna protests this, but too much, and Rose bustles her out the door to come and hang out at Chez Abbott.