Treat immediately runs over to Patch's house to tell. Patch answers the door in his robe, and says Treat's just in time, as Debra Winger has just been diagnosed with a malignant tumor on the TV, and there's another serving of shells and cheese on the stove just for him. Treat declines, saying he just ate. Patch says he is really loving bachelorhood since Rose has been gone. "Do you realize I have utensils sitting in the sink unrinsed? Do you have any idea what kind of freedom that is?" Treat counters with, "Ephram and Amy are gonna have sex." Heh. Treat tells Patch about Ephram and Scooter and the STD test. He adds, "And believe me, the irony did not go unnoticed. Made me feel kind of bad about last year with Amy." Patch moans, "Hoooooow? HOW did this happen?" Treat reminds Patch that their kids are seniors in high school, and in love, and it's sort of the natural progression of things. Patch freaks out, telling Treat that it's different with girl children than with boys, and demands that they stop their kids from doing it. Treat agrees. They agree to talk to their respective children, and try to convince them to hold off for a while. Yes, perhaps until sweeps. Patch laments that Rose isn't even there to help, and Treat welcomes him to bachelorhood. Commercials.

When we come back, it's Ephram's turn for the talk. Treat tells him that he shouldn't have sex with Amy. Ephram asks his dad if he's forbidding it. Treat says he obviously can't control the situation, but he'd appreciate it if Ephram would hear him out. Ephram will. Treat says he knows they're in love, and that makes him and Amy want to push the relationship forward, but he needs to think about how it was for him with Madison last year. Ephram: "How did you know I had sex with Madison?" Uh-oh. Treat stick foot in mouth over over over again. He covers very well, though, saying that at some point the relationship changed -- more importantly, Ephram changed -- and Treat saw it happen, and he just wants his son to think about how it's going to be for Amy. Ephram says he understands that, but he's in for the long haul. Treat says that's exactly why they should wait, because they can afford to take their time. He asks how the relationship is going. Ephram says it's better than it's ever been. Treat: "Well, sex changes that. Forever. You two have worked so hard for so long to be together. To be happy. You willing to risk that?" Ooh, good one. Ephram: "Not when you put it like that." Treat asks Ephram to just take his time, and enjoy getting to the sex part, because it's worth it. Ephram tells Treat that he's impressed, and it was definitely one of Treat's better speeches. He says it hasn't come up yet, but when it does, he'll be sure to think about what his dad said. Treat leans back, pleased with his own awesomeness.