Abbott/Brown Office. Scooter finds Treat, and asks if they're alone. Treat says Patch is already gone, unless it's Louise he's referring to. Scooter: "Well, she's pretty scrappy, but I think I could take her." Heh. Scooter tells Treat that he wants to run something by him. Treat responds by asking how Edna's doing. Scotoer says she's great. Treat asks if she's made him her famous spiced cider yet. Scooter says she hasn't, unfortunately. He then tells Treat that a seventeen-year-old boy was in his office that day, and wanted an STD panel done. He wants to know how to handle it, since the kid's a minor. Treat tells Scooter it's his call. Scooter wonders if he should tell "the parent." Treat's all, "Parent or parents?" Oops. Scooter admits that the boy is being raised by a single dad. Good job, Dimpleman. Treat, who is no dummy, tries to pretend he knows nothing, and tells Scooter that it sounds like he's covering all the right bases by talking to the kid and making sure nothing abnormal has shown up. Scooter says he's certain it's nothing like that, and that the totally anonymous seventeen-year-old being raised by a single dad is just doing this as a precaution. Treat's like, "Great."
Treat immediately runs over to Patch's house to tell. Patch answers the door in his robe, and says Treat's just in time, as Debra Winger has just been diagnosed with a malignant tumor on the TV, and there's another serving of shells and cheese on the stove just for him. Treat declines, saying he just ate. Patch says he is really loving bachelorhood since Rose has been gone. "Do you realize I have utensils sitting in the sink unrinsed? Do you have any idea what kind of freedom that is?" Treat counters with, "Ephram and Amy are gonna have sex." Heh. Treat tells Patch about Ephram and Scooter and the STD test. He adds, "And believe me, the irony did not go unnoticed. Made me feel kind of bad about last year with Amy." Patch moans, "Hoooooow? HOW did this happen?" Treat reminds Patch that their kids are seniors in high school, and in love, and it's sort of the natural progression of things. Patch freaks out, telling Treat that it's different with girl children than with boys, and demands that they stop their kids from doing it. Treat agrees. They agree to talk to their respective children, and try to convince them to hold off for a while. Yes, perhaps until sweeps. Patch laments that Rose isn't even there to help, and Treat welcomes him to bachelorhood. Commercials.