Best Laid Plans

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Best Laid Plans

Cut over to Edna's house, where Amy has just arrived to give her grandmother a tongue-lashing. Edna opens the door to an indignant Amy, who greets her, "Hi Grandma! You totally ruined my life." Amy brushes past Edna and walks in. Edna follows her to the kitchen, and says to herself, "Well. This should be fun." Amy fixes herself a cup of coffee and tells Edna that, while it is not totally all her fault, she should have come to her instead of going to Patch, especially after all they went through the year before. Edna, completely confused, says, "Come to you about what? You're making me dizzy, Private." Amy says she knows that Edna knows about Ephram's STD test, and that she told Patch, and now everything's ruined, and the entire population of Everwood knows that Ephram wanted to have sex with her, except for her. Edna: "So you didn't know he was getting tested?" Amy: "NO!" Edna: "Okay. I'm just trying to break this down to basics. So you're upset that Ephram didn't tell you." Hee. Amy says she's upset because the whole thing is just embarrassing. Edna tells Amy that farting in a public restroom is embarrassing; that's not what's got her bugged. "So if you're going to throw a hissyfit at me, at least be honest." Amy admits that she feels like an idiot, because she's been trying to convince herself that she and Ephram were on the same page about sex, and they're not. Edna asks why it matters. Amy doesn't think she can live up to his experience with Madison, and, people, she actually says this: "The girl is four years older than me, clearly way more experienced, and a hell of a lot prettier." These words, spoken by the most beautiful girl in the WORLD. Crazy. Bucky cannot compare. Edna tells Amy to watch it, because "that's my favorite granddaughter you're insulting." Aw. Amy says she tried to imagine that she and Ephram were in the same universe, and the bottom line is, they're not. Edna: "You're in love. That's the only universe that counts." She tells Amy that sex isn't an act you learn how to do once -- it's different with every person, and every time you embark on that journey with someone new, it's scary. She starts to say something about the first time she and Irv embarked, and Amy interrupts, "Oh, Grandma, NO." Hee. Edna says it's all right to be afraid or nervous, because it just means it's important to you. Amy says she doesn't fully believe Edna yet, but she appreciates the thought. They hug. It's sweet. I know I say this every time, but man, Emily VanCamp. Knocking 'em out of the park every single time.

Cut to Scooter's house. He opens the door, and Edna growls, "You ever discuss a patient's business outside the office again, and you'll be begging for a court martial." Scooter asks how she found out. Edna: "I'M A GOD." Awesome. Scooter says if he were the parent, he'd want to know. Edna tells him he doesn't get to make that call. Scooter tries to defend himself, saying he never said Ephram's name, and he's still confused, a little. Edna: "Pay attention, because it might be complicated for your California pea-sized brain. Ephram Brown, son of Doctor Brown, goes out with Amy Abbott, daughter of Doctor Abbott, who happens to be my son, which makes her my granddaughter." Scooter: "Wow. It's like a Greek play." ["The delivery of that line may be the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. Scott Wolf is so rad in this role." -- Sars] Edna tells him that's right, and if he ever does anything like this again, she'll buy a brooch, and stab him in the eyes with it. Yay! Edna stomps off. Scooter calls after her, "Hey, Edna? How come you never made me your spiced cider?"

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