Blind Faith

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Blind Faith

We fade up on a tree-lined street. Ephram is taking his driving test, and he is sucking mightily. The grouchy old lady testing him, straight outta Central Casting, tells him he missed the turn. He also ran a stop sign and forgot to yield. How did he suddenly get retarded? He's all nervous and whatnot. Irv tells us, "It's been said that seeing is believing, but the fact is, we all have our blind spots." Get it? Blind spots? Driving? Oh, those clever writers! Ephram nearly wrecks as he turns in front of someone. Speaking of which, I rear-ended someone this week. I was looking for some paper to write a love letter to Ephram. See how much I love him? And yet, he doesn't call. Irv continues, "Sometimes we recognize them ourselves; sometimes, others recognize them for us." Ephram makes an illegal U-turn, and the test lady rolls her eyes.

Cut to Treat and Patch, who are waiting for their respective children to finish their driver's tests. Treat is drinking coffee, and Patch tells him that perhaps he should use a straw to reduce the "slurping extravaganza." Hee. Treat says it's actually chai tea, because Rinda told him it was better for you than coffee. Shut up, Rinda. I don't care if coffee gives you the ass cancer, no way I'd be giving up my morning caffeine. Or afternoon, or evening, caffeine. Patch says that Rinda says a lot of things, but it doesn't mean they have to listen. Treat calls her a "pistol." I bet has a pistol he'd like to give her, if you know what I'm saying. Treat starts asking Patch about when he and Rinda were kids. He asks if she had a lot of boyfriends. Ooh! Patch gives Treat an "oh shit he wants to fuck her" look, then completely changes the subject. He wonders how Amy's doing on her driver's test.

Amy is, in fact, doing just fine. She asks if she failed, and the tester says that she's technically one point below the line, but she looks like a nice kid. He passes her. Amy gets all excited, and smiles for the first time this season. Meanwhile, Ephram isn't faring so well. He couldn't parallel park for the third try in a row, and the mean lady fails him. Aw. Sad Ephram. He's about six feet away from the curb. Irv says, "Distance has a way of distorting the things we see. But what appears as an obstacle may in fact be an opportunity. The trick is having enough faith to carry through." Credits.

Breakfast at the Abbott House. Bright reads aloud to his dad about some guy who got a DUI for driving a lawnmower drunk. Sounds about like my town. Amy says she's going to school. Patch asks her how she thinks she's getting there, since Bright isn't ready. Amy says she'll walk. Daddy has a surprise for Amy, though! What do you think it is? Patch says, "You did pass your driver's test yesterday. Maybe you should take the car!" Bright's all, "You're letting her borrow the car?" Patch says no, she can drive her own BRAND NEW KIA SORRENTO! It has anti-lock brakes, front and side airbags, and great crash test ratings! Thanks, product placement guys! Bright is all snarky about it, but Rose tells him not to ruin Amy's moment. Bright says, "She gets everything. If I say I want to go on drugs, do I get a new truck?" Heh. I want to go on drugs. Amy's all happy, and Patch tells her that they couldn't pass up such a momentous occasion as her sixteenth birthday without a little surprise. "We may be having problems at the moment, but we still love you, Amy." Aw. Amy hugs her dad and thanks him.

Treat's office. He's looking at some pictures. Who's the patient? Why, it's our old friend the Rev. He ain't looking so hot. In fact, he ain't looking at much at all, because he's nearly lost all of his vision. The nice-looking lady with him is his fiancée, and they're telling Treat how Rev proposed. Pier at sunset. Treat teases him, "Isn't that how you proposed to your second wife?" Rev says that was his third. Rev's fiancée remarks, "You guys must have killed on the singles scene." She seems very sweet, and is not annoying me in any way. One can only hope it lasts. Rev asks Treat if he would officiate their wedding. Treat says he doesn't know, but Rev assures him that it's easy. Treat says he can't promise any extraordinary insights, but his rates are cheap. He'll do it. They tell Treat that the wedding is the weekend after Christmas, which seems fast, but they want to get married while Rev can still see the lady he's going to marry. Aw. Treat checks out the Rev's eyes. It doesn't look good. Heh. So many tasteless sight puns, so little time. Treat tells Rev that he probably won't make it to Christmas, and he might not even make it to next week. Treat says there are still things Rev can do, and Rev interrupts him by saying, "True. Like finish my sermon for the Hope Service." He tells Treat that he better be there, because last year's winner always buys lunch. Fiancée thanks Treat, and they leave.

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