Daddy's Little Girl

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Little Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble

We open with a shot of a baby girl in a stroller. Her daddy smiles and plays with her. Irv tells us that fathers are in love with their daughters from the very beginning. More shots of daddies and little girls. Oh, we're in a bookshop. Irv says that no matter what they grow up to be, they're always "Daddy's Little Girl" to their fathers. Hey, that's the title of the episode, too! How clever of those writers! Also, the next line Irv says is, "She makes him feel like Christmas." It made me feel like vomiting. Irv finishes by telling us that, in exchange for all of this, daddies make themselves a promise not to see their daughters' teenage awkwardness, their mistakes, or the secrets they keep. I'm pretty sure my dad broke that little promise as he was tearing me a new asshole for wrecking the car. Twice. We pan to another section of the bookshop, where Treat and Delia are arguing. Treat exposits, "Delia. This is your fourth-grade homework assignment, not your honors thesis." Delia tells Treat to pick her up so she can reach the higher shelves. She chooses a book about Golda Meir. Treat asks if she even knows who that is. She does, and she also knows who Peggy Fleming is. Delia explains, "I like to ice skate, and I'd like to run my own country some day. But not Israel. That one's too hard." Hee. Treat says he's going to go find her some anthologies, since it's one book with lots of stories. Delia keeps looking for heroes.

Well, well. Who should Treat run into but Rinda? And by "run into," I mean "actually run into, with the books falling out of Rinda's arms and Treat helping her pick them up and the fuck-me gaze into one another's eyes, which is totally not a cliché, and never has been." Rinda comments on Treat's interesting reading material "for a thirteen-year-old girl." Treat says he can explain. Rinda says she'd love to understand the connection between Mother Teresa and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Treat: "Daughter, homework, hero." Duh, Rinda. Rinda is reading The Web That Has No Weaver: Understanding Chinese Medicine. Oh, naturally. ["Although, if she's a practitioner of said medicine, shouldn't she be a little beyond books about 'understanding' it? Also, shut up, Rinda." -- Sars] Treat makes fun of it, as he should. Rinda says, "Did I judge Buffy?" Is your name Ace, Sep, or Couch Baron? Then no, you didn't, and you won't if you know what's good for you, Madame Mao. Treat says he was kidding, and isn't opposed to something new. He asks Rinda what her favorites are. Christ, here we go. She pulls about a hundred new age books off the shelf and hands them to Treat. Have fun with that, dude. You made your own bed. As they talk, Delia walks up. She gives Rinda a bad face. Treat introduces them. Delia gives the fakest smile ever and tells Rinda hi. Treat says they have to go get more books for Delia. Rinda tells Delia that it was nice to meet her. Delia replies with Eyes of Hate, and walks off. Irv says, "In exchange for her unconditional love…every father is oblivious to the changes in his daughter as she drifts further away from her childhood self, until she's too far away to pull back." Credits.

A swim meet? Okay. Bright and Amy get on their marks. Get set, go, and the Abbotts cheer wildly in the stands. Amy does okay until she's about halfway down the lane. Then she starts to drown. Wait, is this symbolic or something? Also, her hair is completely down, which has to interfere with her speed. And…cut to Amy, who is telling her dream to a counselor of some sort. Amy says it's stupid anyway, like, it's not like dreams MEAN anything or whatever. The counselor asks about the part where everyone passes her. Amy says that everyone is doing better than her, and it's a fact, that there's NOTHING she can do about it anyway, and she would do SOMETHING to make herself feel better if there were just SOMETHING she could do, blah blah blah someone-needs-antidepressants-cakes. The counselor, who is pretty and very familiar, suggests that Amy start coming to therapy twice a week instead of once. Amy brats out and rolls her eyes. "Dr. Lence" asks Amy to talk to her parents and think about it. Amy says she will. Sure.

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