We open with a shot of a printing press in action, as Irv tells us that the "Everwood Pinecone" has been an independent daily newspaper since 1985, when "Mr. R.F. Davenport bought what was even then an antique printing press." Thanks for making my teenage years sound like they were back in the Mesozoic Era, Irv. I really need reminders of how quickly I'm skidding toward the grave. Sorry, maybe that's too morbid for this early in the recap. Irv says that everyone thought Davenport was crazy, but he hasn't missed a single edition. I'd put that as not so much "crazy" as "in desperate need of a vacation. And, perhaps, a life." Shift to the Browns getting out of their car in front of their house at night. Ephram picks up a copy of the Pinecone and good-naturedly whines about how much the daily makes him miss New York. He says that They Might Be Giants are playing in Central Park that night. Now you're making me miss New York, Ephram. Not to mention college. Sure, I can just watch the opening credits of Malcolm In The Middle, but it's really not the same. Treat is carrying a sleeping Delia to the door (aw) when he notices that their front door is open. He gives Delia to Ephram and goes inside. Considering that impassioned speech you made to Ephram about how you couldn't afford to lose someone else you love, I don't think it's such a brilliant idea to risk orphaning your kids here, Treat. But then, I'm not a brain surgeon. Treat enters the house and flips on the lights, whereupon he notices an overturned umbrella stand. He grabs an umbrella and holds it threateningly. He's been watching the Fox documentary When Mary Poppins Attacks. Anyway, the "suspense" builds until Treat hears a noise. He rushes forth, only to find a rather plaintive female deer chewing on a houseplant. The music changes from portentous to wacky as Ephram enters the room, still holding Delia. Treat cautions him, "Stay back. He might have a gun." That joke falls so flat it crushes me into a pancake, and we crash through the floor into the opening credits.
Dee dee DEEEEEE, dee dee dee dee! Dee dee DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, dee dee dee dee! Dee dee DEEEEEEEEEEE, dee dee deeeeeee, DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...well, you get the idea.
Chez Brown, breakfast time. Nina comes over with baked goods. If I were Nina's neighbor, I think I'd pretend I wasn't home a lot, for fear of turning into My Big Fat Obnoxious Recapper. I'm getting pretty close as it is. Nina asks Treat if he's aware that a "small deer" is on his porch. I wonder if the thing's a baby -- it looks really tiny to me, but maybe the females of this breed are normally small. Treat complains that it took two hours just to get the thing out of the house, and then goes out onto the porch and yells for it to go away. Treat, it's already seen Ephram. It's not going anywhere. Nina has to inform Ephram that it's a female, as male deer have antlers, like, pay more attention in school, kid. That was not an obscure factoid. Nina goes on that a lot of the plants the deer eat die in the early winter, so they have to come down to lower altitudes for food. Treat says it can have their garbage, and Ephram can take it out. On the porch, Ephram immediately falls in love with the deer. He feeds it and pets it. Ephram, I'll admit the deer's cute, but I really don't want to see you get Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. At least put on some gloves or something.