Everwood, Confidential

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: C | Grade It Now!
"If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids!"

Brown House. Big Gay Asshead rings the doorbell. Treat answers in his robe, sniffling, and tells him he's early. BGA says he's sorry, but that he could "wait outside." Smartass. Treat tells him coldly that Ephram's just finishing his homework, and to come in. Treat follows him into the piano room, and asks him if he can be blunt. BGA: "You're pissed about the bar?" Treat says he's certainly not pleased, and that Ephram is very impressionable. BGA says that he's not worried about setting an example, and that he doesn't care about Ephram's social life -- but he does care about his music. Oh, give it a rest, MATTHEW. He says he wanted Ephram to hear the good jazz guy play so he would get excited about music again. He tells Ephram's FATHER that Ephram is fifteen, and would rather get LAID. Oh, man. I wish Treat would kick his ass now, but Treat only says, "Right." BGA says that Ephram's really good, but there are a bunch of people better than he is, because they love music. Treat says, "Ephram loves music." BGA says he used to, but doesn't right now, and that it's Treat's fault because of their issues. What? WHAT? Shut up, shut up, shut up. Treat asks him if he noticed the tension. BGA says, "You went on his date with him. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out." Treat looks like he wants to say something, or possibly punch BGA, but right then Ephram walks in. He asks what's going on. Treat says that nothing is, and that Ephram is going to have his lesson, and he's going to go upstairs and slather himself in Vicks Vap-O-Rub. Ephram: "Overshare." Heh.

Cut to Marv's room at the retirement home. Patch is there, helping him get everything settled. He asks if there's anything else he needs. Marv says no, to go on back to "Edna and the kids," but he pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to Patch. "Give this fiver to Hal, Jr. Acing the finals the way he did, such a good kid." Aw! Patch tries to refuse the money. Marv tells him to take it, "and don't think I didn't see you bragging about him again at the golf course, making Bert jealous." He goes on, "I've told [Bert], we all can't have extraordinary sons. Some men are luckier than others. You were blessed." Patch looks like he might cry, and says, "Yes. Yeah, I was." He looks pensive for a moment, and I think my allergies might be acting up again. Patch tells Marv that he picked up a little something for him, too. He hands Marv a record. "Billie Holiday, is this her latest?" Patch says he thinks it is. Marv puts the record on and Billie's sweet voice starts up. Marv begins slow-dancing to the music. Patch walks out slowly, leaving the five on a table before he leaves. Great scene. Sweet scene. Best scene in the episode.

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