Everwood, Confidential

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: C | Grade It Now!
"If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids!"

High school. Ephram walks through the hall and sees all manner of couples hugging, kissing, and making out, including one extra with the ugliest hair I've ever seen. Laynie walks up behind him and says, "Nightmare, isn't it?" She looks really cute, in a red shirt with a her hair all tied up with a scarf. Ephram wants to know what's going on, and she tells him it's Valentine's Day aftermath, and that by the end of the week, they'll all be broken up. They talk some more about how, by the weekend, "the hall will be littered with [the new couples'] crispy corpses," and Ephram suddenly says, "So." Laynie: "So." Aw, the awkwardness! Ephram asks Laynie if she wants to do something on the weekend, and Laynie comments that Ephram is getting better at asking her out. She smiles sweetly at him, and takes his hand. They walk down the hall slowly to Rock Music of Lovey-Dovey Happiness. It's really cute, until Amy walks up and ruins it. Ephram immediately lets go of Laynie's hand. Ouch! I don't even think he meant to do it; it was like an unconscious move, but Laynie certainly noticed. She shoots rays of hate into Ephram's eyes. Amy, oblivious, hands Laynie a book and a letter to take to Colin in Denver. Laynie says she'll make sure he gets it. Amy walks off, and Ephram, also oblivious, asks Laynie, "So, about this weekend?" Laynie totally blows him off and says she just remembered she has plans. She flounces away to class, and Ephram stands there wondering what the hell just happened. You screwed up, baby boo. That's what happened.

Cut to the police station, where Judge Marvin is being held in an interrogation room. Patch and Treat walk in, and Patch tells Marv hello. Marv starts rambling about the Tonight Show, and Patch tells Treat that it's a good sign that Marv is commenting on current events. Treat asks him since when did anyone laugh at the Tonight Show? He asks Marv who the host is. Marv: "Steve Allen, of course." Wow, this is so predictable. I'm already sick of it. Waiter! Treat asks Marv if he knows who "Dr. Abbott" is. Marv replies that he's known "Hal" ever since he moved to Everwood, and inquires after "Edna and the kids." Good God. Marv leans forward and says, "I tried to do what you said, Hal. You told me I'd get in trouble...if I didn't get rid of the body, so I did. I burned it in the back yard. Dead AND buried." Police Chief says, "He did kill Horace Hempleman." Treat: "And he may have had an accomplice." Uh-oh. Hal Senior seems to be in posthumous trouble. I bet you Patch won't be having any of THAT. Patch looks around, stunned, while Marv starts singing that damnable song again, uncaring of the weirdness unfolding around him.

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