Everwood, Confidential

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: C | Grade It Now!
"If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids!"

Cut to Ephram's hands, playing at his lesson. Big Gay Asshead stands by, applauding when Ephram finishes. He compliments the playing, and Ephram says he's been practicing. BGA notes that Ephram got his "mojo" back. Speaking of mojo, a friend of mine has a company by the same name that makes super cute t-shirts. Great. Now along with being a recapper and unemployed, I'm AB Chao the T-Shirt Pimper! Ask me how! Ephram grins and says he has another date with Laynie. He says he's still working on where they're going. BGA, now a little too enthusiastic, tells Ephram he knows a great jazz bar outside of town called "Ezekiel's," whose piano man will rock his world. Ephram says he can't get into a bar, but BGA says he can put Ephram's name on the list. Ephram: "But it's a bar." BGA assholily asks Ephram, "Is that going to be a problem with your DAD?" Man alive, he's mean. Ephram manages to stutter out, "Nah. He'll be fine with it." Cut to...

Treat telling Ephram, "Over my dead body!" Ephram claims that he didn't even have to tell his dad, and Treat starts to say something, but sneezes instead. He remarks, "This old blanket must be full of dust!" And THEN places it on poor sick Delia, who's lying on the couch. Nice work, Treat. Choke your flu-ridden daughter to death on that ugly afghan. Except we all know that there's no dust in the blanket; Treat is getting sick! And he'll probably deny it for a real long time! And we'll have to sit here and watch it! Anyway. Treat tells Ephram again that he can go to the bar over his dead body. Delia cuts in to say, "I think this compress needs more ice. It's not very cold, Daddy." Hee.

Ephram follows his dad into the kitchen, and says that he doesn't want to go there to drink; he wants to hear the piano player. Treat says there's no way that Ephram is going to a bar while he's underage, and that BGA shouldn't be telling him to go. Ephram says it's just because his dad doesn't trust him, and that "Matt was right. You really don't get it." Treat starts to say something, and Delia yells from the living room, "Grape juice!" Treat says he doesn't get it, because Ephram is fifteen, and he doesn't appreciate BGA encouraging that kind of behavior. I sort of don't, either, but I do think that Treat is overreacting. If Everwood were in the south, Ephram would have already been to Ezekiel's, and to every other bar in the state. And no, we didn't go there just to drink. We liked playing video poker, too. Treat tells Ephram that they can make a deal: he can take Laynie to the bar, but he's going to chaperone. Ephram argues. Treat says take it or leave it. Ephram looks annoyed, but I think he'll take it.

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