Everwood, Confidential

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: C | Grade It Now!
"If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids!"

Treat's cell phone rings. Oh, mystery! There's an anonymous voice on the other end, saying he knows something about the murder. He says that Treat has something he wants, and he has something Treat wants, and to meet him at "the old candy factory in an hour, and bring your doctor's bag with you." Ooh, fun! What is the anonymous tipster going to say? Something mysteeeeerious? I can hardly wait! Treat and Patch leave in a hurry, apparently forgetting about Ephram and Laynie, who are sitting around giggling at each other. They're holding hands, too. Laynie says that she's having a good time, but the other day she thought he liked Amy. Ephram says that they're just friends, and that the majority of their time was spent talking about Colin. Laynie then drops this bomb on us: "It's so ironic, her being so devoted to him when he was going to break up with her." What? Really? Yes, really. Laynie says that he was thinking about it right before the accident, because Amy liked him more than he liked her. I'll say. She says that there's no point in telling Colin or Amy now, because Colin actually seems to be just as in love with her as she was with him this time. Ephram freaks out and tells Laynie that she can NEVER tell Amy, NEVER! Laynie says, "Why would I tell her, I'm not an idiot!" Ephram backs down and apologizes, but it's too late. Laynie knows that he loooooves Amy still. Ephram leans back in his chair, defeated, and they sit in silence. Boo! I don't like this!

Candy factory, presumably. It's icky and run-down and looks like something straight out of Buffy. Patch wants to know what he and Treat are even doing there, because somebody's probably going to kill them, too. He says they're like ants on a hot tarmac. They shine flashlights around, but nobody shows. Patch goes on about how they're dead meat, and then somebody walks -- er, walkers -- up. It's Charlie, from the flu shots. He tells them that he would have been there earlier, but it's hard to get around on a walker. He hands Treat an envelope and says he knows things the police don't, and he found something they overlooked. He tells Treat to get his prescription pad out. Patch tells Charlie that he's shocked that he would try to exchange information for narcotics. Charlie: "Who said anything about narcotics? Viagra, Brown. Two bottles." And once again: EW. I do not want to think about this crazy old man getting it up, not once, but twice in the same hour. More Bright, please! Treat writes him a prescription. Charlie leaves. When Patch admonishes him, Treat replies, "I wrote him a prescription for Flintstone vitamins." Hee. Treat starts looking through the envelope, which contains family photos of Marv and Peaches. Patch loses his mind and starts kicking shit around, calling Charlie a "geriatric shyster," and that it's a ridiculous waste of time to have to stroll down memory lane with "Marvin and Peaches." Treat says, "And Jim." Patch is interested. Treat shows him a picture of Marvin, Peaches, and Jim. The dog. Jim the Dog. Where's my money? More wacky music. I'm so tired of this.

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