Everwood, Confidential

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: C | Grade It Now!
"If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids!"

Cut to Ephram and Laynie, on Laynie's front porch. Ephram says he thinks he broke a bad date record. Laynie: "Are you trying to be charming?" Ephram tells her he only is if it's working. She says it isn't. Aw, Laynie! Give the little fella a break, will you? He might be in love with another girl, but he's hot! Doesn't that count for ANYTHING? He tells her that he wants to be honest with her, but it's hard because he didn't even know he wasn't being honest until tonight. That was a confusing sentence to type. Laynie tells him that denial works in mysterious ways. She turns to go in. Ephram says that she was right about Amy: that he can't help it and he doesn't want it, but he still does have "a thing" for her. He says that he thought meeting Laynie would erase his feelings for Amy, but it didn't, and now he feels like a "total jerk for hurting [her] feelings." See, Laynie? He's so sweet! Look at that face. Laynie says that she's had a pretty rough year, and that he barely registers on her scale of misery. Ouch! That hurts MY feelings. Shut up, Laynie. Ephram says, "Barely register?" Laynie says, "Brother in a coma..." Ephram says he never wanted to be in a coma so much until he moved to Everwood. Laynie smiles and says, "This place can do that to you." I want to hate her for not understanding Ephram, and I want to be mad at Ephram for jerking Laynie around, but I just can't. I'm deadlocked in a boyfriend vs. cute girl contest. Laynie tells him that everything's cool. Ephram looks sad, but relieved. Aw. Commercial.

Interrogation room, AGAIN. Marv is saying how he hated Jim, and his wife couldn't take her eyes off "that nasty little poodle." I sort of feel the same way. Poodles are the craziest dogs ever. We used to live next to not one, but two of them, and they spent the majority of their time yapping their stupid little heads off. Plus, the eye gunk. You know what I'm talking about; poodles and other yappers get it, and I can't bear looking at it. Call me thenthitive. Patch accuses Marv of killing Jim because he was jealous of his own dog. Marv says he didn't mean to, that he just backed out of the garage too fast! Treat sneezes. Patch tells him to cover his mouth before he gives Marvin the flu. Treat once again, and just as annoyingly, announces that he doesn't have the flu, it's just his allergies acting up. Ugh. Shut up, Treat. Patch says they need to continue the investigation. Treat says that since Marv ran over his dog, the worst they can do is send him to driving school. Marv says he had to bury the dog before Peaches found out. Blah blah blee bloo blarg. For the second time in my recapping career, I refuse to finish this scene. Aren't you supposed to take a drink from your fancy TWoP drinking stein right about now? The point is, Marv was burying the dog and found those other bones. Patch figures out how to solve that mystery. One funny part: Patch blows up at Treat and tells him to just admit he has the damn flu, for God's sake. Then, for some reason, the word "flu" helps him figure out how to solve the mystery. Which is not only not mysterious, but stomping around in jackboots on my very. last. nerve. And I guess I ended up recapping the scene after all. Damn me! Patch tells Treat to round up the press and meet him at Brenda's house in three hours.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP