Fear Itself

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AB Chao: B- | Grade It Now!
Crazy On A Ship Of Fools

Cut to the dock, where Irv is insisting that Ephram put on his life jacket. Ephram says he'll be fine. Famous last words. Irv tells him to put the damn thing on, and keep it on. He tells Ephram to watch out for the reeds, and stay clear of the far shore. Ephram cranks the boat -- which is an aluminum jobby with about a 15-horsepower outboard engine, for your making-fun-of-Ephram-later information -- and sputters off. He waves at Irv and calls, "I got it! No problem!"

Amy Abbott and Patch Abbott, driving into town. Amy changes the radio station about a million times. Patch rolls his eyes and turns it off, "before I have to self-medicate." I know what you mean, Patch. Amy smiles to herself, and asks her dad if he's talked to Treat lately. Patch wants to know if she's playing a trick on him, since speaking to Treat was what got him in trouble in the first place. Patch stops at the store. Amy tells him to get her a Coke and some licorice. A "please" would kill you? Damn. Patch tells her to come get it herself if she wants something. Inside the store, Patch tells Amy he could talk to Treat if she'd like. Amy picks out groceries with him and tells him it's okay. She says she's just curious what happens next. Patch asks if Colin said something. Amy says Colin isn't speaking to her right now. She says it makes everything seem pointless, since he hates her now anyway. She doesn't know why she didn't tell anyone about his problems. Patch does the daddy thing and says, "Well, you wanted him to trust you. All things considered, trust is very important in a relationship. Sometimes, Amy, all things aren't equal." Patch! Good old Dad. Amy says everything is her fault. Patch says Colin's condition had nothing to do with anything Amy did, and that she's done more for Colin than anyone could ever expect. Patch brushes Amy's cheek, and hugs her. Aw.

Cabin at the Lake of Teenage Stupidity. Treat is pacing the cabin, telling Irv that Ephram should have been back by now. He says the only boat he's ever been on in years is the ferry around Liberty Island. Irv says the lake isn't that big, and he'll be back soon. Treat turns on Irv, saying that he defied his order to Ephram. Irv: "Well, it was a dumb order." Snap. Treat can't believe Irv is questioning his parenting skillz. Irv says it's easier to control Ephram, but that ain't the way to get what you want, and "it's sure as hell not the way to raise a kid." Treat says he'll make the parenting decisions for himself. Irv concedes that he shouldn't have let Ephram on the boat, but Treat can't expect to drag his son all the way out here and basically lock him in a room, and for Ephram to like it. Treat says he doesn't need Irv telling him how to raise Ephram, especially since he's out here doing Irv and Edna a favor. Oh, grow up, Treat. Irv: "It's not my fault he wants to get away from you for the summer." DAMN.

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