Fear Itself

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AB Chao: B- | Grade It Now!
Crazy On A Ship Of Fools

Cabin of The Cutest Dummy In The World. Ephram's in bed, warm and cozy. He tells Treat he knows he's in big trouble. Treat says he thought losing Julia was the worst thing he could imagine before now. Ephram says he's sorry for scaring Treat. Treat says he's sorry for kidnapping Ephram and taking him to the Unabomber Fantasy Camp. Hee. Treat tells Ephram that he's been thinking about New York, and he wants him to do well on his finals, but he can spend the summer with his grandparents no matter what. Damn, all it takes is being hit on the head and falling in the water to get whatever you want? Sign me up! Treat says it'll be good for him, and he knows he'll be back. Ephram smiles, and valiantly tries to get up to study. Treat tells him that he can make up the test. "Besides, I think I can get you a doctor's note." Cheesy Treat. Cheesy line. I love it.

Nina's House. The phone rings. Nina answers it. No one says anything. Nina goes batshit. She says that she knows who "this" is, and to stop calling. She says, "He told me all about you. What you had is over. He's home with his family, with his son, with me. He loves me!" Damn, Freaky Freakerton. The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'm sorry. Just tell him I'm sorry." One other little detail you might need to know: It's a man's voice. Shutup Carl is gay, don't you know. Nina shudders and cries and maybe hyperventilates a little bit.

Cut to Irv's truck, pulling up to the Brown house. Ephram thanks him, and says the next time they go on vacation, he'll save Irv's life. Irv: "Next time? I don't think so." Ephram grins and goes inside the house. Treat tells Irv that he wanted to thank him, too. Irv says it's easier to be a hero with other people's children. Treat says it's not just for saving Ephram, but Irv said some things that he really needed to hear. Irv blows it off, saying he just has a big mouth, and that it runs in the family. Don't let Edna hear you say that. Treat says that Ephram is a lot like him, in that he's stubborn and always thinks he's right. Then he says that Ephram is a lot like his mom, too -- artistic and passionate. Irv says that from what he can tell, it's not a bad mix. I second that emotion. Irv tells Treat to go be with Ephram, and "not a word to that nurse of yours." Treat says the weekend was all about R&R, and a little bit of fishing. He and Irv laugh heartily. Hi, Everwood? Velveeta called, if you know what I'm saying, and I'm pretty sure you do.

Nina's House of SCANDAL. She's brooding at the table when Shutup Carl comes in and tells her his cab should be here soon. Nina: "You got another call. He says he's sorry." Oh, ouch. Carl is astounded. Nina says she should have seen it coming. This experience also seems to have left Nina with the flattest affect this side of paranoid schizophrenia. She launches into everyone's favorite "I Can't Believe My Husband's A 'Mo" speech, which includes blaming herself, thinking she's not pretty enough or good enough, and being sure it must have been something she did, except now that she knows the truth, she's PISSED. She tells him, "Maybe you didn't love me the way I did you, but you didn't even care enough to be honest with me. You didn't choose someone else, Carl. You ARE someone else." Shutup Carl's taxi blows the horn. He picks up his bags and leaves with the saddest Shutup Carl face ever. See ya, Carl.

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