Friendly Fire

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
Baby On Bored

Profuse thanks to DMW_SFU and AlleyOop for hooking me up with the rest of the Classic episodes. You guys are the best.

A minute and a half of previouslies. Good Lord, it's only been two episodes, and I'll be damned if I'm recapping them again.

Main Street. People are out having a great time, and are dressed like it's a nice spring day. In California. I thought this Fall Thaw was only supposed to last a week, but I guess they couldn't go running back to Canada to film. There are certainly enough shows shot up there already. Irv tells us that there are a lot of reasons people move to the country: clean air, better schools, and diners like Mama Joy's. Excuse me, did he just imply that people move to the country for the food? You had me and then you lost me, Irv. Treat, sitting at the counter, tells Nina that she should take a squeegee to the menus. I see your flirting skills haven't improved one bit, Treat. Why not tell her that her roots are showing -- that'd still be insensitive, but at least it'd be constructive criticism. Nina, as usual, patiently humors him. Treat wonders if he can get baked potatoes instead of fries, as he doesn't think he's giving his kids the recommended daily allowance of good parenting. More non-flirtatious non-banter ensues, and I know some people want these two to be a couple, but I think they're soggy enough to put out a medium-sized forest fire. California park rangers, you've got a new weapon. Treat babbles some more, Nina exposits that she's eight and a half months pregnant, and over at a nearby table, Mrs. Baxworth, Edna, and a couple other women shift more and more uncomfortably. Well, if I had to listen to this, I'd be doing that too. [Shift, shift.]

Nina gives up some more boring information about Mama Joy's as she hands over Treat's order. Treat starts to babble about getting something else, and asks if there's anything besides "baked" or "fried." Edna, God bless her, has had just about enough of this flirting gone horribly wrong, and marches over and smashes the bag containing the potatoes. "Yes, there is. Mashed." Edna, I'm in love with you. Are you sure you're not a man? Because frankly, I'm not. Edna tries to kick him out, but Mrs. Baxworth throws up her hands and says he's just going to have to be "a part of this." She stomps over and turns the sign on the door to "CLOSED," and then announces that it's Nina's first official baby shower. Well, geez, I'm sure she appreciates the gesture and all, but isn't waiting until she's eight and a half months pregnant leaving it until a little late? Maybe they're hoping Nina will drop the kid right into a Baby Gap jumpsuit. Treat looks like he wishes he'd made a break for it, but hey, he tortured me for minutes, so I'm not brimming with sympathy here. Nina tries to protest that she can't accept the gifts, but the women force her into a chair and coo over her. Nina finally drops the bomb: "I'm carrying this baby for someone else." The looks on everyone's faces are similar to the ones I saw at the party I attended on Election Night 2000. Mrs. Baxworth asks Treat if he knows what Nina's talking about. Treat and his newfound catatonia sleepwalk us into the opening credits.

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