Everwood
Friendly Fire

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Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Baby On Bored

School. Ephram closes his locker. He sees Amy with her two bitch friends, one of whom stage-whispers something about "Geek Boy." They run away at the sight of the guy over whom they'll be scratching each other's eyes out in a few years. Ephram notes his ability to clear a hallway, and Amy explains that "Kayla" and "Paige" are "allergic to anyone who's not at the top two popularity percentile." Rather than point out Amy's inflated ego, Ephram notes that he's only 98 percent short. Not in our forums, babe. A little exposition designed to tell us that Amy does ballet ensues, and then Ephram spectacularly chickens out of asking her on a date. Ephram, it pains me to have to call you "Wuss Boy" after being annoyed with Bitch #1 for calling you "Geek Boy." I'm very upset now. Thanks a lot, Wuss Boy. Amy walks off, and behind Ephram, Justin from Bring It On babbles something about calf implants and chicken legs. I'm thinking Ephram is now only ninety-seven percent short. Justin proffers his hand and introduces himself as "Wendell," but Ephram doesn't shake it, and turns to go. You know, after lines like, "Look, Mom, her head is spinning off into another dim-EN-sion!" it pains me to see Cody McMains playing the annoying geek role here, but on the bright side, he's nowhere near as irritating as Friedman on Joan of Arcadia. I'm still calling him Justin, though. ["We haven't seen this kid in, like, a year -- I miss him, actually." -- Sars] Justin keeps Ephram's attention by saying that Amy "worships at the shrine of Coma Boy every weekend," and if Ephram wants to break her of the habit, he'll need help. Ephram tries to snit off again. Ephram, I know this kid's annoying, but since everyone else but Amy in this school acts like leprosy would make you more socially acceptable, you might consider sparing him two minutes of your time. Justin chases after him and blathers about services and romantic pursuits and dossiers, and then promises to call Ephram with a plan. We don't see Ephram's reaction, but I imagine it's akin to "Shut it, Friedman."

Treat tells his patient, a portly older guy, that everything he has is treatable, but his blood pressure level concerns him. The guy counters that his pressure will drop as soon as he's out of there, as Edna makes him nervous. "We went steady in the fifth grade. She introduced me to hickeys and shoplifting." Treat: "Right." Hee. But seriously, the fifth grade? That's pretty, er, precocious. Treat says he wants to have "Walter" come back in a couple weeks, but Walter is uncomfortable doing that if Treat won't take his money. So with the discomfort over the money and the Edna nervousness, why didn't this guy just keep seeing Patch? Is Patch unpleasant enough to override those concerns? Okay, I'm all caught up here. Walter offers Treat the use of his boat, called the Sea Breeze. Mmm, Sea Breeze. That sounds good right about now. It's the dead of winter, you say? What's your point? Anyway, Treat accepts the keys. Walter opens the door to leave, and runs into Mrs. Baxworth, who's all, "We need to talk, Doctor Brown. Now."

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Everwood

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