Friendly Fire

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
Baby On Bored

Treat bastes a chicken. Ephram watches while munching on some pizza, and Treat asks him why he's eating that before dinner. Ephram: "Because I know who's cooking it?" It's been a long ten minutes here, Ephram. Don't leave me alone like that again. The phone rings, and Ephram answers it. It's Justin: "What do you know about Tchaikovsky?" Ephram: "Who is this?" Justin identifies himself, and says if Ephram can swing Swan Lake, he's good with Amy. Ephram: "How did you get this number?" Justin tells him to practice, and hangs up. Treat asks who it was. Ephram: "Sales call." Hee. Come back soon, Ephram. Treat takes the trash out, and runs into Delia and Nina coming in. He tells Delia to wash up for dinner, and to ignore everything Ephram says, as "no one loves a critic." Geez, Treat. You really know how to hurt a recapper. Then again, I could just sit with Ephram in the Critic's Corner...oh, sorry. Treat invites Nina to stay for dinner. She declines, but says she's in the market for a new family doctor. You know, just another point about the state of Nina's finances: It's not like she tripped all over herself to get free medical care. She must be doing all right. Treat hems and haws a bit, but accepts. There's a honk from a car horn, and Nina says it must be her guest: Sarah, the baby's mother. Treat says he'll be right there. After a moment, he looks out the window, and sees Nina greet Sarah. I was casting about for a diplomatic way to describe her when I realized that I could just leave it to Ephram, who reappears with a "Who's the old lady?" Yeah. Actually, she's not that old, but she's certainly past her child-bearing years, and her salt-and-pepper (mostly salt) hair isn't exactly helping her look any younger. Treat stares, perhaps realizing that the slopes of Mount Ethics just got a little slipperier.

Ephram puts some laundry in the washer. Treat enters, observes this, and announces, "I was once a happy sack of hormones myself." Ephram: "Gross. Find another sack to share with." Hee. But if you think Treat's getting less clueless, give him a few minutes. Treat leaves, and Delia enters to tell Ephram that his "friend" Justin is on the phone. Ephram: "He's not my friend. He's a freak." Yeah, Ephram? You might find that those two aren't exactly mutually exclusive. Especially once you get to college. Ephram takes the phone, and Justin gives him a time and place to meet in school, and then hangs up. What's with the hanging up without saying goodbye? Is Justin a Camden? Ephram hangs up and snarks that they're getting Caller ID. Delia says Ephram should be happy he made a friend, because it's not easy. "Everyone in my class has known each other since the '90s." Aw. Ephram tells her that to make friends, she shouldn't look so needy. Delia: "Is it these pants?" Ha! Even Ephram smiled at that one. He tells her she needs to look busy, and gives her a yo-yo. Forgive me, sweet Ephram, but the only person at school besides Justin who will talk to you is hoping that your dad will perform brain surgery on her boyfriend. You'll understand if I wait a bit to engrave "Ephram Is My Friend-Making Guru" on my yo-yo. And to buy said yo-yo.

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