Friendly Fire

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
Baby On Bored

Elementary school. Delia exits her classroom and puts a cookie in her cubby, ostensibly for Magilla, and then walks off. Aw.

School library. Ephram not-too-furtively watches Amy, who's at another table with Bitches 1 and 2. I feel like I should come up with more distinguishing names for them, though. I'll work on that. Justin appears out of nowhere and asks if Ephram is wondering what they're talking about. Ephram unconvincingly says no. Justin says it's probably not that exciting. "It looks exciting, 'cause of all the wild gesticulating and massive hair flippage that's going on." Hee. Over at The Table of Massive Hair Flippage, Bitch #1 says that the fact that Ephram talks to Justin shows he's a geek. Well, okay, Bitch #1, but what was your reasoning before he started talking to Justin? Incidentally, I see now that Bitch #1 can best be described as a Poor Man's Mena Suvari, which means that she will be kidnapped, beaten with a crowbar, injected with heroin, left for dead, and then murdered by a man posing as her father. Frankly, I can't wait. Amy says that Ephram is new, and is just trying to meet people. Well, "trying" may be a bit of an exaggeration. PMMS says that Amy has a thing for Ephram, which she denies. PMMS: "Whatever. The point is, he's not going to fit in at my party, is he? And then I'm going to feel all lame, like I'm having a loser party because Eddie Munster isn't having any fun?" Get. The. Crowbar. Bitch #2 tells Amy that she can do better. Bitch #2, by the way, sort of looks like a younger, non-bucktoothed Madison. Hey, I'm trying to insult her, here. Amy says she already has a boyfriend, and PMMS and Non-Bucktoothed Madison coo that they love Colin too, and if Amy doesn't like Ephram like that, she won't care if they uninvite him. Amy thinks that would be mean. Non-Bucktoothed Madison: "Would we ever do anything mean to someone's face?" Ooh, ooh, I know this one!

Justin is going on about lip-gloss flavors when NB Madison beckons Ephram, whom she calls "Goth Guy," over. Well, that's an improvement over "Geek Boy," but I somehow think that's not going to be much consolation for what's about to happen. PMMS and NB Madison tag-team Ephram in a very fake, sickeningly sweet way, saying that PMMS's mom told her she could only invite twelve people, and Amy didn't know, and while they'd love for him to come, he can't. Ephram seethes that he understands, and with a baleful look at Amy, he bolts. PMMS: "Well, that was easy." Hey, PMMS, is that your dad?

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