Topher walks Hannah to her door. He asks her if she had fun. "Wasn't that punch just amazing? I couldn't tell if you were enjoying it, but I had like four glasses." Hannah says it was really good -- maybe they added some extra sugar or something. Topher says he was totally thinking that, too! Run, Hannah! Run from the nerd! When they get to the front steps, Hannah stops and waits expectantly. Topher stutters that he should probably be going. Hannah is like, "Okay. No, WAIT." She asks him if he was thinking about, maybe, kissing her. Ever. Topher says, "Like now?" Hannah says yeah...or not, but they've had four dates, and one of them involved formalwear. She tells him she personally thinks their dates have all been very nice, but if he doesn't like her? Topher says of course he likes her: "You're the only person who understands why a turtleneck vest is stupid." Hannah: "Well, of course, 'cause your arms get cold." My God. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Hannah's like, "Anyway. Why don't we just go on three?" Topher thinks this is a fine plan. Hannah starts counting, and Topher goes in early with what is, quite possibly, the most awful, most unsexy, most clumsiest kiss ever recorded. I wouldn't give my mother a kiss like that. Lord. Hannah looks like she's been smacked in the mouth by a flounder. Topher's all, "Wow." Hannah thanks him, and he walks off, saying he'll call her. Hannah's all, "Oookay." She stands there for a minute, trying to shake it off. Poor Loafer. He's history.
Treat is waiting for Ephram in his room. Ephram walks in, and actually speaks. "You're in my room." Treat: "You have something to tell me?" Ephram says no, not really. Treat's like, "Oh? Nothing you want to share? No major changes? Bought or sold anything substantial?" Ephram gets it. Treat asks him where everything is. Ephram says it's gone, because he sold it. Treat tells him to unsell it. Ephram says he can't. Treat: "Yeah, you can. And you will." Ephram says he knows Treat thinks he did this just to get back at him, but that's not the case -- he's putting together a plan, and he needed some cash. God, shut up. You're flying to Europe on an airplane. You're visiting the Tower of London. You're not putting together anything, Danny Ocean. Treat points out that it's not his money. Ephram gets all nine-tenths of the law, which I hate: "That stuff was a gift for me, right? Well, I didn't need the stuff anymore, I needed the money so I could get out of here." Treat, who should totally be like "my house, my rules, asshole," but is a pussy, asks Ephram where he's planning on going. Ephram declares that he's going to Europe, because he can't keep living here hating his dad, and there's nothing left in Everwood for him anyway. Treat reminds Ephram that he's eighteen years old, with no college education or job possibilities. "What are you going to do?" Ephram says he doesn't know, but that's what he was hoping he'd find out. He asks for his passport. Treat says he's sorry, but he just can't let him do this. Ephram says, for like the millionth time ever, that Treat can't stop him. Don't you see, Dad? He's unstoppable! Can't be stopped! Stopping: not an option! WE GET IT. Ephram looks at Treat defiantly. Treat walks out without a word, which we all know means he's given in.
Bright is apartment-hunting again, this time with Ephram. Brenda Baxworth impatiently points out the closet and bathroom. Bright asks her if it's just him, or if this place looks exactly like the last place they saw. Brenda: "Which one? I've shown you nine so far." Heh. Bright says he just wants to sample the milk before he buys the cow. Ephram cuts in to say that, technically, he'd be renting the cow. Brenda's phone rings, and she excuses herself, adding that perhaps it's someone who will actually pay her for her services. Bright asks Ephram what he thinks. Ephram says at least it doesn't smell like hot dogs, like that other place. Bright: "I know! Above a Weinerschnitzel, what're you gonna do?" Mmm, Weinerschnitzel. When we were both living in Texas, Al Lowe and I spent many a chili-cheese-fried night with that place. It was totally gross. AND DELICIOUS. Bright asks Ephram if he's sure he doesn't want to be his roommate. Ephram says he can't, because he got the money together for Europe. Bright's like, "Damn, that was fast. What did you do, sell your soul?" Ephram doesn't admit that he kind of did, and just says it was easier than he thought it would be. He changes the subject: "So, does this place have central air?" Bright says he doesn't know, and remembers that Hannah had a whole list of important questions he was supposed to ask. Ephram tells him to call her. Bright says he can't; she's mad at him. Ephram asks him what he did this time. Bright: "Nothing. She thinks I insulted her." Ephram: "Well, did you?" Bright says not intentionally -- he said something about her dress, then she got all girly. Ephram observes that that's kind of what girls do, and asks why she was wearing a dress, anyway. Bright reminds him about prom. Ephram: "Oh, yeah, she's got that boyfriend." Bright obviously doesn't like this, and is all, "No, no, he's not her boyfriend." Ephram says they're dating, and he took her to prom, so what else would you call him? Bright: "Personally, I'd call him an asshat." Ephram says he can't believe that Bright is jealous of Topher Cole. Bright tries to be all hard, like, he's so sure he's jealous of Topher Cole. This could not be more awesome.