We open on a sunny day in Everwood. As the camera closes in on a store called "Everwood Video," Irv tells us that everyone has their favorite movies, and that everyone can recite the last line of their favorites, but hardly anyone remembers the first line. Let's test that theory. My favorite movie is Annie Hall. And...the first line is : "There's an old joke." Oddly, I cannot remember the last line. Boo-yah, Irv the Bus-Driving Narrator! I have no idea what I have just proven, but this drink is DELICIOUS. Ephram and Bright roam the aisles of the movie store, looking for something to rent. Has Netflix not caught on in Everwood? Bright wants to rent a movie that prompts Ephram to remark, "I'm not in the mood to watch soft-core porn with you." Does this mean that he has been in the mood before, or will be in the future? Ho, and also, yay. Ephram wants to rent The Pianist, because he's my sensitive boyfriend. Bright nixes it. Ephram gets all huffy and tells Bright to get what he wants. Bright says, "All right. Huddle up." Ephram doesn't get it, because he's never played sports a day in his life, a fact which we should all try not to count against him. As much as Ephram rocks, no one can resist a hot point guard, people. Bright cutely says, "That means 'Come here.' You're like working with raw clay, man." Aw, Bright kneads his friend. Cheesy puns: 1. AB Chao: 0. There's a strange segue where suddenly Bright starts talking about how he's the master of all things women, and I'm confused, but let's go with it. Bright tells Ephram that the only way to get pukey Madison to like him more is not with romantic comedy "Cusack crap," but he needs to live the life of the action star, like "The Rock." Huh? That's not how you get the girl. Cusack is like paper to The Rock's...rock. Paper covers rock, Bright! Anyway, Bright tells Ephram to ignore the shit out of Madison, and she will like him even more. I wish Ephram would just take the "ignore the shit out of" part of that advice. Bright says nothing keeps a girl guessing more than for her to think that maybe you don't even want her around. Ephram tells Bright that it's wrong and evil, but ignoring Madison kind of makes sense. Bright utters the first of several brilliant lines of the evening: "Don't hate the playa. Hate the game." Hee! The camera pans to a TV in the video store playing the end of Casablanca, and we hear, "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Indeed. Credits.
Brown House. Brittany, Delia's bitchy little friend, is there. Delia asks Treat if he remembered to rent the karaoke machine for her slumber party. Ah, a girl after my own heart. Treat says he's on it. Brittany, who thinks she is twenty-five years old, asks Treat, "And where are we on the pizza? I would get a head start on it if I were you." Shut up, Brittany. It's nice to see your mother taught you how to be tacky to adults, but nobody needs to hear it. Treat says he'll take care of it. He tells the girls that Nina will take them to school, since he has to go to work early. Nina? Who is that? Delia tells Brittany that her dad's acting weird. Uh oh. She knows!