Fade up on the Brown House. Ephram sets the table for dinner, as Irv tells us, "The winds of change -- sometimes they're a gentle breeze; a welcome relief; sometimes a brief gust quickly forgotten. But other times, they blow in like a foul and devastating gale, blazing a path of destruction, which leaves us holding on for dear life." Delia sullenly watches her brother work. Treat enthuses, "Mmm! Something sure smells good!" Something also smells like bullshit. Pan over to the kitchen, where an older woman pulls something out of the oven, claiming it's a "Hammerhill specialty." Delia looks on in disgust, as she should -- the pan contains "Tuna Surprise." Heh. "Surprise! It's disgusting!" Or, if one were Jessica Simpson: "Surprise! It's chicken!" Ephram asks Treat if this was really the best he could do. Treat: "Wasn't given much notice, was I?" Hey, is it really Ephram's fault that he got involved with the babysitter and now everything's gone to shit? Oh, wait...it totally is. Delia gets ready to chop vegetables for the salad. Mrs. Hammerhill stops her. Delia: "But I always get to chop!" Mrs. Hammerhill tells her, "Not on my watch. Knives and children don't mix." Delia complains that Madison always let her chop. Treat explains that Mrs. Hammerhill has different rules. Which, if he had any balls at all, could be changed at the parent's discretion. He goes on to say, "Since Madison's not coming any more..." Delia glares accusingly at Ephram and says, "It's not MY fault Madison's not coming." Ephram pouts. Mrs. Hammerhill tells Treat that the casserole will be done in ten minutes, and she'll see them tomorrow. Treat invites her to stay for dinner, but she says she doesn't dine with her "charges." Treat: "'Charges'? Oh, we're really not that formal around here." Mrs. Hammerhill notes that that's readily apparent. Shu'p, Hammerhill. She tells Delia that she'll meet her at the bus stop the next afternoon. Delia's all, "No, you really don't have to. REALLY. It's just one block!" Hammerhill pulls that "maybe in my day, so dangerous in these modern times" crap, and brisks her way out. Ugh. Treat snarks to Delia, "Well, at least we don't have to worry about Ephram dating her." Delia is not amused, and we fade to the credits.
Diner. Treat whines to Nina about his sad life. Nina reminds Treat that he's not the one who just broke up with Madison. Treat says he wishes it were, so he could just "knock back a bottle of Glenlivet" and be done with it. Nina assures him that Ephram will be all right soon enough; she advises him to sneak a few extra boxes of Kleenex in his room for late-night crying jags. Aw. Patch walks in for his lunch, pointedly ignoring Treat and taking his lunch to go. When he leaves, Nina asks Treat, "So is that what happens when you two see each other on the playground?" Hee. Treat says Patch could have spoken to him just as easily. Nina tells him to just apologize already, because the two of them are happiest when they have each other to kick around. And make out with. Treat says he won't apologize for doing what any other doctor would have done under the circumstances, and if Patch wants to stay mad, he doesn't care. Nina's like, "Whatever, DOCTOR."
High school cafeteria. Bright listens to Ephram go on and on about his break-up with Madison. An enormous jock yells across the room to Bright that he's playing ball at USC the next year. Bright congratulates him a little too heartily. Ephram asks Bright if he applied there, and Bright says no, but that he's two for four on his acceptance letters. Except, they're both rejections. Aw. Bright says it's okay, though, because he's really waiting for the Notre Dame letter. He says it's hard to get recruited when you don't play your senior year. Ephram says he's not going to college, because college just means more college girls, and he's had enough of those already. Then: "Do you think she thinks about me?" Bright's like, "Dude. Shut it." Yes. Please.
Cut to Delia, begging Mrs. Hammerhill for just one game of Spit. Mrs. Hammerhill: "I don't much care for that word, young lady...and I don't play games." Lord. We get it, she's old and grouchy. Enough. Delia gives her new babysitter a look that could kill, and starts upstairs. Ephram walks in and offers to play Spit with her. Delia: "I don't want to play with you, like, ever!" Mrs. Hammerhill admonishes, "Volume, Delilah, volume!" Okay, so the "Delilah" thing was pretty funny.
Abbott House. Patch walks in all excited; he tells Rose and Bright that he's got a letter from Notre Dame in his hands. Rose grins excitedly. Bright tries to be all hard about it, like he's not nervous as hell. Patch insists that he open it immediately. Bright says, "Skinny envelope? When they accept you, they send a big one." His parents give him a pep talk, and by the time he opens it, he's expecting an acceptance. Which, of course, it isn't. Bright's face falls as he looks at his parents. Patch tells him it's not the end of the world; he can go to his "safety school" for the first two years, then transfer, and at the end of the day he'll still be a Notre Dame graduate. Bright isn't buying it, but attempts to smile at his dad anyway. Nice try, Patch. After Bright leaves the room, Patch tells Rose that he was expecting this, but he just wasn't prepared to see Bright so disappointed. Mournful Reeds of Ivy League Rejection play in the background.
Madison answers her door. It's...wait for it...Ephram. Madison says, "What are you doing here? I didn't think we'd be doing this already." Ephram is confused. Madison thinks he's there to try and get back together. Ephram is like, "Damn! Why didn't I think of that?" He tells her that he's actually there because of Delia. He says she's miserable, and hates everybody, and Madison has to come back to work. Madison says she cannot, no way, no how. Ephram tells her about "Mrs. Doubtfire's evil twin," and Madison says it can't be that bad. Ephram plays his best card: "She won't let her chop." Madison, incredulously: "She loves to chop." Hee. Ephram says he can't stand seeing Delia like this, and he can handle Madison being around. Madison says she doesn't know if she can handle it, that it's bad enough not thinking about him. Ephram: "Whoa, whoa. You think about me?" Aw. Madison's face says it all. Ephram says the situation is dire, and Madison has to come back before Delia stabs Mrs. Hammerhill with a knitting needle. Heh. Madison says she wouldn't want to be the cause of Delia serving prison time, and tells Ephram that if she comes back, it's only on a trial basis, only for work, and if it gets weird, she's gone. Ephram agrees. He awkwardly brushes past her to get out the door. Madison shuts it, and leans against the doorframe, hoping she can handle it. Also, thinking to herself, "I can't believe AB Chao likes me now. This is totally weird, and AWESOME!" Commercials.
We come back to Amy and Rinda, doing breathing exercises. Rinda tells Amy how proud she is of her progress, and wishes she'd try yoga again, if she could stop giggling. Heh. She asks Amy how things are at home. Amy says they're okay, but different. Rinda says it's time for Amy to stop taking her ZOLOFT. Amy doesn't like this idea at all, since she only has about a week of pills left. Rinda says that based on her chart and her progress, she thinks it's time to stop. Amy is worried that she's not ready, but Rinda assures her that she is, and that it's going to be good. Amy sweetly thanks her aunt.
Brown House. Madison's there, letting Delia chop. Yay for chopping! Treat walks in and exclaims that he's ready to eat. He sees Madison and says, "Or not. What's going on here?" Delia explains that Ephram fired Mrs. "Hammerhead" and hired Madison again. Treat can't believe it. Ephram says he told the old lady over the phone that morning. "It actually went pretty smoothly. I've had some experience letting sitters go be