Back at the Brown house, Treat walks in and shows Delia the millions of cups he's bought for the recital. He says he didn't know which kind to buy, so he bought all of them. Aw, look at the overcompensating former bad daddy! Delia skeptically tells Treat that he might have to take some back. Ephram: "Either that or throw a kegger." He cutely grabs one of the cups and gets himself some water. That has nothing to do with the plot, but sometimes we need to be reminded of Ephram's adorable ways. Treat says the cups are for the guests, that he sent out invitations, and four people already RSVPed. Ephram tells him to get them back. Treat doesn't understand. Ephram says he's decided he didn't want anybody there. Treat asks why. Ephram says he just doesn't, okay? Treat: "Does this have something to do with Mom? I know your last recital..." Ephram: "No, it's got nothing to do with that. That's not what everything's about." Oh, man. Break my heart. Treat asks what it is about, then. Ephram says that just because it's not about his mom doesn't mean he's going to tell. He walks out, and Delia tells her dad, "We could throw a pregger!" Hee.
God. Cut to the "Everwood Pinecone," whose headline reads something about aliens invading Everwood. Tons of people are out in the streets, buying alien dolls and other memorabilia. Silly outer space music plays. Patch drives through the crowd and under a giant banner that says "Welcome to Everwood" in alien font. Patch parks and rolls his eyes at the "tie-dyed space freaks." No shit. Some hippie says something about "power vortices," and Patch says, "Power vortices? Is that something you picked up in Ben & Jerry's physics class?" Heh. Patch tells him that there is no life in outer space, "DUDE." Treat calls from across the street, "According to Carl Sagan there is other life in the universe." Patch says he knew he could expect that kind of talk from Treat. Treat tells Patch he knows that if there were an alien race that didn't watch Joe Millionaire, he'd be all over it. Patch says he'd have been beamed up long ago if that were true, but it ain't.
Treat's Office of Lumberjack Wackiness. He's stitching up LJ, and says his problem is obviously something other than a vitamin deficiency. Betsy wants to know if it could be aliens. Oh, whatever. Shut up, Betsy. Treat says if he had to bet on a fight between aliens and LJ, he'd pick LJ every time. Edna smarts that they could always bring in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster for questioning. Heh. Treat asks LJ how he sleeps, and if he ever sleepwalks. LJ says he used to, but that he and Betsy are super-heavy sleepers now. Treat says he wants to do a sleep clinic nevertheless, and that way maybe they can find out what's wrong. Treat gives LJ a Treat-smile and says, "I'll bring the milk, you bring the cookies." Gah. I want to hate his cheesy lines, I do! Why does Treat have to be so cute, damn it?