Everwood
Moonlight Sonata

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: C | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
You're Getting Sleeeeepy

Cut to Edna and Amy, camping in the middle of a million hippie alien people. Amy says, "So much for having the place to ourselves." She asks for some hot chocolate. Edna tells her to knock herself out, but what she really means is, "Please let me knock your bitchy self out." A lady comes up and asks them for matches. Edna tells her, "Sure." Strange Lady keeps blabbing, then says, "That reminds me of my fourth abduction...or was it my third?" Aigh! This is so silly. Strange Lady reaches out to Amy and says, "You have SUCH PRETTY HAIR!" Amy recoils in horror. She tells the lady to keep the matches. Edna says they might not be sleeping tonight. Amy cheeses that at least the lights got everyone together tonight. They suddenly hear someone screaming their names. Treat runs up and tells Edna he needs Amy to go to Ephram's recital. Amy says she thought Ephram didn't want anyone there, but Treat says he knows Ephram, and he knows he'd want her there. He tells her that whatever Ephram says about his recital, to do the exact opposite. Amy says she promised her grandmother she'd stay with her, but Edna assures them she can defend the universe from an alien invasion all by herself. Amy hugs Edna and tells her that she'll be back right after the recital. Aw.

Concert hall. Ephram, looking every bit my boyfriend in his suit, wanders around backstage looking for BGA. He has a gift in his hand. The Kid Who Ate Everwood tells him BGA's downstairs. Ephram looks in a few different rooms, and finally finds BGA in an office, where he happens to be mugging down with the KateBot. EW. Ephram freaks, slams the door, and runs off to throw up in the bathroom. Just kidding. I did that. Music Of Inappropriate Relationships plays as we go to commercials.

We come back to a shot of stage lights, panning down to Ephram playing the finale. He is perfect, and the audience is entranced. Gregory Smith is also doing the fake playing much better. I just want to make out with him a little bit, okay? God. KateBot watches from the wings and smiles her little robot smile as he finishes. Ephram stands up to take a bow, and gets a standing ovation. Treat is so happy, he pees a little bit. When Ephram walks backstage, KateBot tells him how great he was. He "whatevers" her, and she says she really, really means it. Shut up, Kate. She asks him what his problem is. Ephram tells her they both know that the only reason he got the finale is because BGA didn't want to blow his and KateBot's cover. KateBot says Ephram's performance was awesome, and that he earned it. Ephram says he doesn't need a damn pep talk, and that it's super-obvious what she's doing, and he feels sorry for her that she's so naive. KateBot tells him that she's rubber, and he's glue. Ephram says if she can't figure out why twenty-eight-year-old guys date high school girls, he can't help her. KateBot says they're in love, and the reason BGA is leaving is because her dad found out about them. She asks him who the naive one is now, and walks away. Dear Kate: I know you may have heard this before, but please, please shut up. You're ruining everything, and I hate you. Also, I am sorry that you shop at Dress Barn. ALSO, shut it. Thanks for reading! Love, The Universe, And Also Those Weird Lights In Everwood, And Maybe Some Aliens.

LJ's house. Patch starts to nod off, when he hears a thumping sound. He gets up and looks out the window. The lights in the sky are all swirly and whatnot. He says to himself, "Sweet Betsy," and goes to check on LJ and his teeny wife. Did I mention that she's tiny? Well, she's also beating the crap out of her husband in her sleep. Which is retarded, but I don't make this stuff up; I just report it. Patch tries to wake her up and stop her, but she swings her arm around and decks him in the eye. Patch fall down. AB Chao groan.

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Everwood

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