Fade up on...ick, a bowl of mushy brown cereal. We pull back and see that the owner of the bowl is Delia, who tells her dad that she thinks she's done with school. Treat tells her she can't be done with school -- he went to school for twenty-seven years. Delia: "So? That was your bad decision." Why are kids on TV so rude to their parents? If my child said that to me, I'd kick her into the middle of next week. And then kill her. Treat asks Delia what the problem is. Delia complains that everyone's mean to her -- her new best friend hates her old best friend, and now she doesn't know who to talk to, and it's a nightmare. Treat responds, "Want to see a nightmare? Come by my office sometime. Every time I leave Harold and Edna alone I'm afraid I'll come back to a body count." Delia counters, "Britney spit on Willow. Actual spit." Treat tells Delia she wins, but still has to go to school. Nice way to handle your pre-adolescent little girl's social problems, Treat. Somebody needs to pick up a copy of Queen Bees and Wannabes, stat.
Ephram wanders in and asks his dad if Hannah has arrived yet. Treat says no, and Ephram says he told Hannah to be there early if she wanted a ride to school. Treat reminds his very lazy son that it's only thirty-six steps to Nina's house, and he can just go get her. Ephram reminds us all that any extra time he has this year is going to Amy, and walking the thirty-six steps to Nina's house would totally cut into that time. Whatever, dude. Ephram starts being a total jerk about Hannah, claiming that he's taking her to school and then the favor is done. "I can't help her more than that. She's beyond help." The same thing might have been said about you a couple years ago, son. Treat tells Ephram that Nina isn't expecting him to give Hannah a makeover, just to be her friend. He advises Ephram to just be nice to Hannah, and the other kids will -- that's how it works in high school. Indeed. Treat adds, "Or have you forgotten what it's like to be lonely?" Now, why couldn't you show that kind of compassion to your daughter, Treat-O? Ephram says there's nothing like a dose of early-morning guilt to get your day started right, and heads out. ["And what is your hair getting an early-morning dose of? Shut it, butt-cut." -- Sars]
Hannah is waiting for Ephram on the front steps. Ephram states the obvious: "You're here." Hannah reminds Ephram that he told her to come by. Ephram tells her that she didn't have to wait on the steps, but Hannah says she didn't mind. I would like to tell you all that Hannah is far from beyond help. She needs a new hair person and some updated glasses and a little shot of self-confidence, but other than that, she's really very pretty. I love her freckles. Hannah pulls on a very hideous purple beret. Ephram is all, "What is THAT?" Hannah misunderstands: "What, did I spill on myself?" Ephram tries to gently point out that her hat is totally ugly. Hannah still doesn't really get it, and explains that it was a gift from her dad. Ephram backpedals, "Oh. Huh. It's cool." Heh. They get in the car. Credits.
We come back to the Brown/Abbott Office of Maternal Unrest. Louise thanks some cute guy for hauling off a bunch of boxes. Edna arrives and demands to know where Cute Guy is taking her files. Cute Guy says he's taking them to a storage facility. Edna tells him that he most certainly isn't. Cute Guy says he's just loading them onto the truck. Edna: "You do and you'll walk funny for days. Get back here!" Patch pops up from behind a desk and crows, "Oh, hush now, Mother! Continue, gentlemen, don't listen to her." Lord, Patch. Edna wants to know what the hell is going on. Patch tells his mother that he's dragging her into the twenty-first century whether she likes it or not, and the computer he's busily setting up at her desk is going to help her do it. Edna, furious now, tells Patch that she doesn't want no damn computer, and has a system that has worked perfectly fine for over thirty years. Patch is having none of it. He tells her that after she "masters the database," if she still wants her files back then, she can have them. Edna is not comforted by this, and -- as Patch tells her to please sit down for a quick computer lesson -- storms out. Go, Feisty Nurse, go! Patch calls after her, "You're going to miss my tutorial on monthly expense graphing, and then who'll be sorry?" Hee.