Fade up on a used car -- excuse me, "gently worn automobile" -- lot. Irv tells us some mumbo-jumbo about perfect moments in life, and the responses that we have to these moments that are not what the universe -- "or our parents" -- expect them to be. He finishes with what must be known in philosophical circles as The Universal Haggling Theory: "The truth has a distinct cost that can't be bargained down, and in these moments, we must choose whether to pay the price." We pan over several cars, ranging in color and price, and stop on that most hideous of old cars, the Lincoln Town Car. It's $1800. Treat, Delia, and Ephram walk over to it, talking with the mechanic/salesman who works there. Treat is overly excited about what Ephram terms the "safest boat in the Navy." Hee. This is totally no fair: Bitchy Amy Abbott gets a brand new KIA SORRENTO, and Ephram is stuck with this monstrosity? Treat cannot be stopped, though. He is so excited about buying this car that Ephram can't even tell his dad how much he hates it without looking like a spoiled little jackass. Or, you know, Amy Abbott. Treat goes off to finish the paperwork, and Phil the Mechanic, or as he will now be known for reasons you will soon find out, Mister Cleo -- and Ephram stay behind to admire the new "car," and Mr. Cleo tells Ephram that even though the car isn't much to look at, a "good girl" will like her. He goes on to say that the girl who is right for him will like the car, and it is at this point that I begin to get just a little creeped out by Mr. Cleo. He's either trying to set Ephram up with his one available daughter, or wants to suck out his soul through his eyeballs. Ephram says if Mr. Cleo is implying that he should use the car as a way to weed the girls out, "my face has that covered." I beg to diffah, Young Brown. Mr. Cleo says about one hundred THOUSAND more times, "The girl that's right for you will like this car. The girl that's right for you will like this car. All work and no play make Phil a dull boy." He gives Ephram the keys and tells him that his future awaits. Ephram says, "If this is the future, even my past is starting to look good." He gets into his gigantic love machine and backs out. Credits.
Morning at the High School. Amy "Bangs of Sadness" Abbott waits in her car for a parking spot. Happy high schoolers mill in the parking lot and walk into the school, ready for a new day! Amy sits and thinks about how best to go about killing herself. Cars honk like crazy behind her, and she is jolted out of her fantasy. She circles the parking lot.