And now, before we begin: A delightful little post I found on WB's Everwood forums. In a thread concerning whether Emily VanCamp and Gregory Smith smoked, "SerendipityNy16" had this to say:

i have many pet peeves,and smoking is one of them. Smoking in my opinion is just straight out disgusting. They might as well put a big sign on the cigarrette box saying" Smoke me and you'll shorten your life span" People are so ignorant when they smoke cigarrettes, don't they get it? Smoking may "sooth" your nerves or whatever,but they're just causing more harm to your body.

Wow. Thanks for the PSA, Stupendipity. I'm no "soothesayer," but I think a smoke right now would really "sooth" my nerves.

Previously on Everwood, Amy finds out that Colin's coming home; yep, that's about it.

We open on a poker game in progress. Irv tells us, "At the heart of every tale is the hero who inspired it. Legends whose names are known, whose lives we remember, whose stories we pass on…Dr. Brown was a legend in his own right by the time he came to Everwood, but he wasn't the only one." The camera pans around the table: Edna, Irv, Delia -- who all seem to have pretty shitty hands -- and a strange blonde lady. The other legend, presumably. She has a full house. She says, "Wait until I tell Uta, she'll be thrilled!" Treat asks, "You studied acting under Uta Hagen?" Blonde lady: "Not acting, dahling...poker!" Uh, whatever. Edna says to tell everyone about the time they met Jack Lemmon in "the john." Irv tells Delia, "She was in the men's room." Delia giggles. Uta's Poker Protegé tells the story that she was in a restaurant, and accidentally walked into the men's room, where "Mister Jack Lemmon himself" was just finishing up his business. She was so embarrassed that she stood there waiting for him to finish "zipping up," then said, "Well...nobody's perfect!" Delia says she doesn't get it. I don't get it either, and even if I did, it still wouldn't be funny. Treat explains to Delia that it's the last line from an old movie. Yeah. Still not funny.

Uta's Girl follows Treat into the kitchen for some water, and tells him how beautiful his home is. Treat thanks her and asks her why she came to Everwood. She says that she was living in New York when a friend asked her to direct a stock production at the "opera house." Huh? Everwood has an opera house? No, it does not. Uta's Girl says she was only going to stay the summer...twelve years ago. Of course, because giving up a glamorous life in New York for a tiny town in the middle of nowhere is something every young actress longs to do! I smell foreshadowing, and it's not very appetizing. Uta's Girl goes on to say that she directs shows in Denver occasionally and teaches classes, but every winter she directs a musical, right there in Everwood! Edna is her stage manager, and she tells Treat that he simply has to audition. The play this year is The King and I. Treat says he hasn't done a musical since high school, and that he wasn't very good -- he couldn't remember his lines. Uta's Girl does this little laugh-cough thing, and excuses herself. Treat tells her to stop by his office tomorrow to get it checked out. What, her laugh? She didn't even sound sick to me. Treat's a genius! Uta says she's fine. That's right, I'm just calling her Uta now. I know it doesn't make any sense. Plus, it's a funny name. Who's writing this recap anyway? She concedes that she'll stop by Treat's office if he tries out for her play. Treat says he's not wearing "balloon pants," but he'll think about it.