Everwood
The Unveiling

Episode Report Card
AB Chao: A | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Your Cheatin' Heart

I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram Ephram is hot I love Ephram Ephram is super hot I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram call me Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram call me for fuck's sake I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram all work and no play make AB Chao a dull girl I love Ephram I love Ephram I love codeine I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephram I love Ephrazzzzzzzzzz…

What do you get when you have to recap a great episode all hopped up on cough medicine? Stay tuned and we'll find out, won't we?

We fade in on Ephram's hands playing the piano. He rocks out for a little while, and when he finishes, he turns to BGA. BGA gives him a smarmy smile and tells him, "You're off today." One line in and already with the smartassery? Okay. Ephram asks him what the problem is, and BGA says it's not his technique, but that he's not "letting himself go." He gets up and sits down next to Ephram on the piano bench. A little too closely, if you ask me. He tells Ephram to try another piece. Ephram looks at it, and says, "Schubert's Impromptu No. 3, Opus 99? I don't know that one." BGA tells him that he now has only ten seconds to look at it and play it. Asshole! Ephram starts to ask why he only has ten seconds, but BGA is already counting down. Ephram doesn't even look at the music, but tells BGA that he's freaking him out. BGA finishes counting down and tells Ephram to play it. He smiles self-satisfactorily to himself, because he's insane. Ephram says he can't play it. BGA tells him to close his eyes, see the page in his mind, and play what he sees. Ephram: "Whatever you say, Obi-Wan." He closes his eyes and starts to play. It's beautiful. He knows the whole thing. The camera pans around the room, and suddenly we're in another house. Ephram is playing the piece on a grand piano. Flashback!

Ephram stops playing, and gets up to walk into another room of what is supposedly the Browns' old house in New York. He hears his parents screaming and yelling at each other in the next room, and opens the door quietly to listen in. Treat yells, "What do you want from me?!" Sue Ellen Mishkie says she doesn't know anymore, but that she can't live "like this." Treat bellows, "Then leave me! Take the kids and LEAVE!" Sue Ellen says she doesn't want to, that she just wants Treat to talk to her. But it's too late. Treat is already out of there. Ephram stares at his mother sadly, and we fade back to the present. He's played the whole song. BGA is astounded. Ephram says that he was wrong, and does know this song. He closes the piano, and go to the credits.

Funky music plays. It's horrible. Colin and Amy are all hugged up together, making out on her bed. It's supposed to be sweet, but ends up being kind of icky. They're smacking their lips together super-loudly. That's going to leave a chap. They quit kissing, and Colin tells Amy that she has perfect lips. She tells Colin that he has the best eyes. Whatever. Colin argues that no, SHE has the best eyes. You're schmoopy. No, YOU'RE schmoopy! NO! You're the schmoopy! Shut it. They start kissing again, then Amy jumps up and looks out the window. "They're back!" Amy and Colin book it downstairs and jump on the couch just as Patch and Rose unlock the door. Amy flicks on the TV. They're both flushed and breathless, and it's pretty cute. Man, do I remember those days. Only I always just made out on the couch with my boyfriend, and sat up real quick when I heard my parents coming in. It's just more efficient, wouldn't you say? Patch and Rose walk into the living room, and Amy asks them how the movie was. Patch grumbles that the popcorn was stale, they got stuck in the third row, blah blah. Rose says it was wonderful, but she wishes "someone would tell that Renee Zellweger to stop losing weight!" Right on, Rose. Patch looks at Amy and Colin, not believing they've been sitting there all night for a minute, and asks what they're watching. Amy and Colin both stumble out that they're just flipping around. Rose tells Colin it's getting pretty late, and time to be heading home. Colin says his dad's on his way to get him. Rose bids them goodnight, but Patch says, "Maybe we'll join you for a bit! There's a wonderful new GAP campaign...maybe we can catch it." He looks at them knowingly, but Rose drags him off to bed. Amy laughs about how clueless her parents are. Colin tries to answer, but looks all sweaty and kind of green. He says he has to use the bathroom.

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Everwood

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