Three Miners From Everwood

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AB Chao: C+ | Grade It Now!
Three Miners From Everwood

Treat goes down into the mine. Patch and Rinda follow. We see that the three survivors are Ellie, Beau Bridges, and Darth Vader. Darth Vader's arm is smooshed and pinned underneath a heavy object. Ellie is impaled, and Treat tells her he can't move her because "that thing coming out of you is holding everything where it should be." DIRTY! Ellie takes it all very stoically, and Treat gives her a giant shot.

Rinda administers her special brand of Eastern health care to Beau Bridges, which consists of talking to him like she wants to get up on it. Cut over to Treat and Patch, who are trying to get the heavy-ass beam off Darth Vader's arm. They take precious moments when they could be saving his ARM to discuss the fact that Darth Vader doesn't have any family in Everwood. Somebody is called to cut the beam in tiny pieces so they can lift it.

FLASHBAAAAAAACK!!! Ephram arrives at Darth Vader's house at an unspecified time in the past. He apologizes for scratching DV's car door. Darth Vader says he wants Ephram's car insurance information, so he can charge his ass. They have a very boring exchange which establishes that Darth Vader is Everwood's Resident Cranky Old Black Man. Not to be confused with Irv, who is Everwood's Resident Cheerful and Wise Old Black Man. Ephram doesn't want DV to tell his dad about the accident, and Darth Vader isn't having it. Ephram says he didn't have to even fess up, and could just leave. Darth Vader tells him to knock himself out. Ephram thinks twice about it, and follows Darth Vader into his kitchen, asking if there's anything he can do "around the place" to work off the money for the car door. Suddenly! A vicious canine leaps from the corner and barks his ass off at Ephram. Darth Vader says that Oscar is a "sniffer, not a biter." Oscar is a perv. Darth Vader tells Ephram that with no college degree, he's worth about six dollars an hour, and DV doesn't want him around for one hundred hours. Ephram gives him a look like the feeling is mutual, and starts to pull out his driver's license and insurance information. DV looks like he's about to proposition Ephram for sex, but asks him instead if he knows anything about computers. He clearly wants Ephram to help him set up his Diaryland diary, grumpyoldblackman.diaryland.com. Ephram says of course he does. Darth Vader commands, "Then follow." Ephram gladly puts his wallet back in his pocket, and follows.

Al takes a break here to go record a genius rock song with my husband, but fear not. She will be back in a few minutes.

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