Props to Allison, who offered wise and witty commentary, even though she pressured me for hours to "Hurry up so we can go have drinks, slow ASS."
We open at the Brown House. Madison "Still Bucky After All These Years" Poppins is helping with dinner. Delia asks her if she's going to be famous, and make music videos, and "Pepsi commercials and stuff." Madison says it's a little early to be thinking about that, since she doesn't even know if the band manager coming to watch their "gig" will like the "band." She says that "Jay" found the manager, and Ephram says to make sure he's a real manager. Madison gives him the stink-eye, and says the manager discovered Toad the Wet Sprocket and lots of other college bands, okay? Toad the Wet Sprocket, huh? Big time. Delia says she'll go to the show and charm all the grown-ups, but Madison says it's illegal for her to get in. On that note, she asks Ephram how he thinks he's going to the show. Ephram says he'll find a way.
Treat walks in and tells Ephram, "We've got a situation here. I just got your report card." Delia and Madison immediately take off. Heh. Ephram's all, "I know, D in Spanish, right? Guess you'll need my car keys. I've also talked to the teacher about extra credit and lined up a tutor. His name's Senor El Gato. Sorry, Dad." Treat is speechless, like, "But I wanted to yell! And ground! You ruined it!" What he actually says is, "Unbelievable."
Cut to Bright, who echoes, "Unbelievable." He's just opened the mail, and yells for his dad. Aw, yay for Bright! He hands Patch his report card, and it's mostly As and Bs. Patch is so excited. He shows Rose, and she gets all excited, too. Bright says, "I gotta call Lori Hudson! Little Miss I'm Too Good To Date A Dumb Jock Like You. She's gonna have to find another reason not to go out with me." Hee. Rose says she's going to bake a cake, so they can celebrate. Aw. Bright goes off, and Patch opens the rest of the mail, which contains Amy's report card, which is mostly Ds and Fs. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Credits.
High school library. Bright is modeling glasses for Ephram. "These are cool. I mean, they look good, but do they say, 'I'm a genius'?" Ephram says they don't speak. Bright: "Hey, less lip, more conjugating, or El Gato here isn't going to sign off on those tutorials." Heh. Ephram reminds Bright that he's not really his Spanish tutor. Bright says he sure could be, because Ephram's looking at a man who got three As. Ephram gives Bright a look. Bright: "What's wrong, hangdog? Why does there always have to be drama in the world of Ephram?" Ephram's sad because he doesn't know how to get into Madison's…gig. Ephram observes that he can go to the supermarket, where they also have liquor, but not a bar, and it's not fair. Aw, such a hard life. Have a wah-mburger and some French cries. Bright says he knows exactly how to fix this little problem of Ephram's, and to meet him there the next day after sixth period. Ephram gets all happy, and leaves just as Amy is walking over to talk to Bright.
Amy sits down and asks Bright if Ephram was skipping class. Bright: "Having sex with a rock goddess tends to have that effect on a guy." Amy: "They're sleeping together?" Bright: "What'd you think they were doing this whole time, playing Solitaire? Or…some other two-person card game?" Hee hee. Why is it that, the dumber Bright acts, the hotter he gets? Amy says she needs Bright to do her a favor, and get her report card out of the mail before their parents see it. Bright tells Amy that it's too late, they already saw it. He tells his sister, "I believe this is what they call karma. Learn it, live it, love it." Hey, didn't Sars invent that phrase?