We Hold These Truths

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | Grade It Now!
We'll Always Have Buck's Rock
First off, I just want to say that I think episodes with significant numbers of original flashback scenes are very hit or miss, so props to everyone involved for knocking this one out of the park. Also, I know you can pretty much assume that you should take this precaution with this show, but seriously? Get the tissues out. No, seriously. No, seriously.

The copy of this episode I have includes the trailer for the next episode of 7th Heaven, wherein Eric tells Lou to shut up, and Annie slaps Lou. The Camdens are such lovely, Christian people. "Christian" in the sense of the American Family Association, of course.

Previouslies, and lots of them. Oh, just read the recaps.

Fade up on a good old-fashioned swimming hole, as Irv tells us that "Every small town worth its salt has a place like this. A place where the landscape invites us to blend in for a while." He goes on that Everwood's is called Buck's Rock, and for most people, it "eliminates any and all doubt of a higher power." Atheists in small towns, stand strong! Don't go to the lake! We see Colin standing on the end of a long tree branch that's jutting out over the water, and Irv continues that Buck's Rock exists so people can forget the responsibilities of adult life. Man, I should go there. It's not easy being a kid trapped in an adult's body. Plus, there's all that shirtless Bright. Colin dives into the water, and then resurfaces and whoops exuberantly. And if you think whooping can only be done exuberantly, check out the reaction to a home run at a Mets game in September. We see Amy on the shore with a book, because she used to care about things other than being the biggest bitch since Joan Crawford. Colin claims he won the championship, but Bright (ahhh) tells him his toes were curled, and gives him a 5.5 out of six. Colin and Amy flirt a bit, and he kisses her on the cheek and tells her, "You're next, Grover." Aw. She puts him off, and Bright, now on the branch, calls that Amy doesn't share their sense of adventure. Nor your rather buff torsos, I must add. Bright spins into the water like he's doing a triple salchow or something. Ladies and gentlemen, in case you still had any doubts, allow me to opine that we just observed the two-column proof entitled "Bright Is Gay." It's not a very complex work, but then again, neither is the person in question.

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