Over at Patch's office, "Dr. Abbott" is handing out money to the people he's hired to pretend they're patients. He tells them to just sit anywhere. Old, old Mr. Jensen tells Patch that if he's going to sit there all day and pretend to be a patient, he's going to need more money. Heh. Patch says it won't take all day; he just needs them to pose while he takes care of his father-in-law. Another guy asks Patch what ailment he has. "It would help me get in character." Patch tells him exasperatedly that he has the flu. "Thurman" tells Patch that he had the flu already that year. Patch is like, "FINE." He tells Thurman he now has pneumonia. He points to the other patients and gives them their ailments. "Sciatica. Abdominal pain. Arthritis." When he gets to Mr. Jensen, Patch points and cries, "Incontinence!" Hee hee. Just then, Rose's parents arrive. Grandpa Herb can't believe that the office hasn't changed in years. Grandma Betty remarks, "Good thing you don't do the decorating at home. You should try to get one of those homosexuals from the TV to come in here and spruce the place up." Patch tries not to cry. Mr. Jensen tells Patch, "Twenty-eight minutes, Abbott." Grandma Betty asks what he means. Patch says it just means that they're very, very, very busy today, and he's ready to see the boils right away. Grandma Betty says she'll stay in the waiting room, because she's seen the boils already. One of the "patients" starts coughing dramatically, and Grandma Betty takes a seat as far away from him as possible. Maybe Grandma Betty will contract Ebola from one of them.
Cut to the audition. Ephram waits backstage for his turn, pacing nervously. Amy tries to make him feel better by telling a joke that Bright told her the other day. Ephram interrupts and says, "You know what? Let's just blow this off." Amy : "But you're up next." Ephram babbles that it's going to be boring for Amy, and he has no chance of getting in anyway, and if they leave now they can still make the party for the second movie. Amy says she wants to hear him play. Ephram is freaking out. He wants to go. Amy gives Ephram the pep talk of his life, saying that half of the kids there are just good at playing the piano, but Ephram is there because it's his destiny to play piano, so he doesn't get to decide when or if he plays. "You just do, because it's who you are. That's why we're here today." Hey, there's sweet Amy. I'm glad she's back. Ephram's name is called. Amy whispers, "Good luck," and takes his hand. It takes him a long time to let go as he walks onstage. They're so cute that I have to get up and fix myself a drink. Alcohol makes you mean, right?
Cut back to Patch's office. Louise comes in for "work," stops, looks around, and asks everyone what the hell they're doing there. Grandma Betty explains, as to a child, "They're in a doctor's office, dearie. They're here to see the doctor." Heh. Louise just stands there, dumbfounded. Patch comes out of his office and rushes over to Louise in a panic. Louise asks if their insurance got reinstated, and says she just came in to water their plants. Patch tells her that it certainly did, and he didn't call her because he assumed she was still in Barbados. Louise is all, "Barbados? I'm confused." Patch says of course she is, it must be the jet lag, she has a beautiful tan by the way, and pushes her out of the office. Hee. Rose's parents thank him and say they'll see him back at the house. Louise, still standing there, asks Patch, "Do I really look tan to you?"
Hospital. Treat, looking mighty fine in his surgical scrubs, goes to check on Triple D so he can convince him that the risky surgery is better. Triple D is still not into it. Treat sits down next to him and says he knows his last surgery failed, and they lost Colin. Triple D tells Treat that it's not him; it's the odds. Treat: "Odds are something that the ordinary use as incentive or excuse. Does that sound familiar?" Triple D nods, defeated. Treat tells him that he has forgotten nothing he was taught -- every adage, every insightful example, every little thing, is all going to be in that operating room with them. Triple D sighs, and says, "Get the scans. We'll go over the resection together. Just don't screw the damn thing up." Yay! Treat wins! Commercials.
Dinner at the Abbott House. Grandma Rose tells the table that there were lots of crazies down at Patch's office that day. Patch starts to say under his breath, "Takes one to know one," but a look from Rose stops him. Patch starts again, and tells Grandma Betty, "Good eye. It's true, some of my patients do have mental health problems as well as physical ailments." Heh. Bright rolls his eyes. Patch gets up to fix more drinks for himself and Grandpa Herb. Grandma Betty goes on to say that it was wild and wacky down at that office -- not just the patients, but his crazy nurse. "Coming back early from Barbados, and simply to water a ficus?" Rose laughs, "Louise in Barbados? Where would you get an idea like that?" Everyone looks at Patch. Patch tells them it's not what they think. Rose is like, "Then why did you tell my mother that?" Patch realizes he's busted, and says it was the first thing that came to his mind. He confesses that he really didn't get insured again, and that he paid people to sit in his waiting room. He says he didn't want to mess everything up, not with Bright's graduation coming up and everything. Bright interjects, "Oh, don't even try to pin this on me." Hee. Patch says he's already started calling other insurance companies, and he's hoping at least one of them will come through. Rose asks what happens if they won't. Patch has no answer. Plinky Piano of Malpractice Sadness plays us out of the scene.
Cut to Ephram and Amy, leaving the audition. Amy says she was so nervous in there, she thought she was going to throw up. Ephram: "That's so sweet, I've never had a girl vomit for me before." Amy laughs, and as they get to the car, Ephram asks her why they're going home, since they're in an actual city, with actual fun things to do. He suggests they have a fancy dinner and check out the Boulder scene together. Amy hesitates, saying she doesn't have much money. Ephram pulls out a credit card and tells her, "That's what emergency credit cards are for, right?" Amy is pleased as punch. Punch is super-pleased this year, haven't you heard?
Cut back to the hospital. Treat's been operating already for eleven hours? A nurse informs Treat that the other doctor is ready to take over for him. Treat says the other doctor can go home, he's almost done. Treat's assisting surgeon, Dr. Adler, tells him that they have at least three hours to go. Treat says he's performed longer surgeries on tougher cases, and he's fine. The other doctor insists that Treat let his replacement take over. Treat gets irritated, and tells the nurse to call the replacement doctor in. Sassy Dr. Adler says, "Thank God." Treat adds, "He's to relieve Dr. Adler. Good night, Doctor." Heh.
Abbott House. Bright comes in and flops down on the couch. Patch turns the TV off and sighs dramatically. Bright: "You want me to go kill Grandma with you? We could go to prison together." Patch chuckles, then gets serious. He tells Bright that there's been an Abbott medical office in Everwood for over fifty years, and he always thought it would close when he retired, not for something like this. Bright assures his dad that he's not getting shut down. Patch says right now, he's not allowed to distribute Band-Aids, let alone write prescriptions -- if he can't find someone to insure him, he has no practice. Bright becomes the second of the Abbott children to give a pep talk tonight, and tells his dad that he's a great doctor, and he can't just give up. Patch says he hasn't given up, he's just run out of options. Bright tells his dad that he isn't the kind of guy who's just going to sit around and watch cable all day, even if he can't practice medicine. Patch says he's a doctor, and that's what doctors do. Bright