Everybody Hates Hugo

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!

Hurley strolls through the jungle, looking for something. He finds it, wrapped up, stashed in a small stand of trees. He unwraps the package, gingerly, for it is a few sticks of dynamite. You know, there's no problem that can't be solved with a couple sticks of dynamite, I always say.

Flashback to Hurley and Qualls ripping off garden gnomes from some poor middle-class sap. They've got dozens stashed in the back of Qualls's van, which they then are arranging artfully on the front of some other poor middle-class sap's front lawn. Said sap comes out the front door and Hurley and Qualls skedaddle, leaving a gnome-spelled "CLUCK YOU" on the front lawn of Randy II. (Qualls even yells, "Cluck you, Randy!" as they peel on out, laughing.)

A jubilant DJ Qualls tells Hurley (who he calls "Huggy Bear") that if there's anything else he wants to do, he better speak up, because their day off is almost at an end, and in the morning they're going to have to find new employment. He suggests a couple of places, one of which's main attraction is apparently a chick that Qualls digs. Hurley, enjoying the fuck out of his life, asks Qualls to promise that whatever happens, they'll never change. That this'll never change. You know where he's going with this, but you have to think that when he and Starla settle down to have little Hurley Jrs., he's not going to have as much time to bomb around in vans stealing lawn gnomes. At least, you'd hope not. Qualls thinks he's finally figured out why Hurley's been acting weird lately: he's going to have the stomach-stapling surgery done (nice job in nailing the affectionate teasing that only close friends get to do), but Hurley says he's not having surgery. "Aw, c'mon man, it's cool. I could still be all surprised and be like, 'Oh my, Hurley. Is that you?'" Hurley laughs, but still makes him promise that the two of them will always stay the same, and Qualls drops a little Outsiders on him: "Not only will I stay gold, Ponyboy, I will drink to it." He takes out his wallet, looks in it. "Can I borrow two bucks?" Hurley starts laughing.

Back down in the hatch-hole Costco, Hurley's become quite adept at setting dynamite now, I see. He's sticking the fuse in one of the pieces when Rose comes in. "What have you got there, Hurley?" Hurley can't really come up with a cover story. I mean, it's dynamite. So he just admits what it is. Rose asks what he's doing with it, and he says he's sorry, but he can't let it happen again.

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