Everybody Hates Hugo

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admin: B- | Grade It Now!

Outside in the parking lot, Hurley's hyperventilating into a paper bag, although I'd think that quitting your Mr. Cluck's job would be a lot less stressful with a winning lottery ticket in your pocket. DJ Qualls comes out to see if Hurley's okay and to let him know that Randy (is that the general boss name for Lost? Is this a clue?) is "losing his brain" in there. Sounds messy. Locke urges Qualls to get back in or he'll be scrubbing johns for the rest of the week. "Doubt it. I quit too," says Qualls, much to Hurley's surprise. "Looks like we got ourselves a day off," says Qualls, who might want to examine a little more closely the consequences of quitting. For now, though, the world's his oyster, for "Who needs money when you've got good looks?" Hurley smiles; as far as that looks/money equation goes, it's fortunate for Qualls that Hurley's got $156 million in his pocket.

And hey, Locke's not on shift right now, so he's making the most of his time off by strolling through the jungle looking for food. He finds some yellowy thing, sniffs it, then takes out one of his 400 knives to peel it. Without looking up, he says, "You can come out now. I saw you back at the rock, and then at the mangrove tree." Locke explains that he's walked in a big circle, and he doesn't know how his mysterious shadow didn't know.

It's Charlie, so maybe he was high. He steps out, embarrassed, from the bush, saying Locke doesn't have to insult him. Well, someone has to. Locke chows down on his mangrove or papaya or whatever. Locke asks why Charlie's been following him. Turns out Charlie's pissed: "There are a lot of secrets around here. And I'm tired of being at the bloody kids' table." He whines that he got Claire's baby back. (Ribs?) He says he didn't go "swanning off" to the Black Rock on a bloody "A-team" mission, but he would have if someone had asked him. How cool would it be for Locke to patiently explain that while Charlie may be on the B-team, he's the leader of the B-team? "I think I'm entitled to some sodding answers around here," whines Charlie, and any time he wants to shut up is fine by me. "What do you want to know?" says Locke.

Back in the hatch-hole, Sayid's new job apparently consists of him hitting a door with some scrap metal. Jack strolls up to ask how it's going, and Sayid says it's not. He figures that past the door is concrete, eight to ten feet thick. I'd be really interested to know how he figures that. Jack says, "Hey, check this shit out," to paraphrase, and he leans forward and the key around his neck pulls away towards the wall like it did when Jack first ventured down the hole. "Interesting," says Sayid. His metal battering ram is made of titanium, which apparently has no magnetic attraction. "But we're not getting in up here," he says. "Up here?" asks Jack, so Sayid strolls over to a grate on the floor that he lifts up. "Perhaps we can go under it," he says. Great. A hatch within the hatch. Maybe we'll find out where this one goes in Season 3.

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